Fumbling towards ecstasy

About 15 years ago, I connected with Chris on AOL GAM4GWM chat room. He is originally from my hometown but was living in Japan at the time. We shared very similar music tastes and somewhat obsessed with BT and Tori Amos. We chatted online for a year, mostly about BT and Tori Amos. And when he moved back to US, we decided to meet in person.

He is white, same as as me, about 6’4, a twink-ish figure with trendy clothes that Japanese hipsters wear. We went to a rave one night and took ecstasy. They say ecstasy enhances all your senses and we were definitely sensual on the dance floor, especially when the DJ played Blue Skies by Tori Amos remixed by BT.

When we got back to his place, we went out to his backyard and laid on a hammock, watching the night sky. It was blue sky but the mood shined and the stars twinkled magically. I kept humming the Tori Amos’s song…. “blue skies are over my head, I said. Let’s go to this magic wonder show.” It was beyond ecstasy – maybe even spiritual.

 Few months after that, he moved to Japan to live with his new boyfriend who was already there. I was very disappointed with this and somewhat heart broken. We kept in touch and few years later, he came back to US and we reconnected. We went to Tori Amos show together. But we lost touch again after that.

Although we are thousands miles apart, every time I see stars at night, I know he is
looking at the same stars where ever he is at.

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