Typically, main subject of my blogs are relationships and parallel process to my life. Today, I want to switch gears a little, but don’t worry, it will have a reference point of a sexual encounter.
This week for the first time in my life, I was a victim of a crime. When I came home from work, I realized my apartment was broken into. Few replaceable items were stolen, including my laptop. It was a good excuse to buy a new one (which I am using it now), but all the drafts of my gaysiandating stories to be posted were lost. This is another reason I had to blog about something else today.
Sex and the City fans! Remember the episode when Carrie’s laptop crashed and everyone kept asking her if she backed up. Well, I don’t do that.
They also went through underwear drawers.
Yes I post very personal and private stories on the world wide web for anyone to enter and read, but a complete stranger entering my home and taking them without consent is an epic violation.
Last time I felt violated was when I hooked up with a guy who possibly videotaped me unknowingly. When I was in college, I went to a divey gay bar, which the owner, Chris, had a special interest me. This was a bonus for me since I got free drinks all night. By the time the bar was closed, there were only the bartenders and the DJ at the place, with the music still blasting. Chris came up to dance with me and next thing I know, my shirt was off as he rubbed my body. My shirt always stays on in public unless I am at the beach or at the pool. I felt bit uncomfortable and vulnerable.
Chris took me to his place, which is an impressive house. Clearly, he was into Asian stuff, judging by entire collection of Asian antiques. It looked like he hoarded an entire section from Pier One Imports.
Fast forwarding to his bedroom (again lots of oriental furnitures) he started to give me a BJ. He paused for a minute, then went by the TV and I noticed a camera. I didn’t quite see what he did as I laid naked on his oriental bedding. But afterwards, I asked him if he recorded us and he denied.
I had so many mixed emotions about this. I enjoyed the fact that I hooked up with a gay bar owner, which lead to an irrational belief of power and status. I can blame my immaturity given I was about 20 at the time. At the same time, I also felt powerless and vulnerable. He might had a personal image of me in his possession without my knowledge.
After being burglarized, it also made me wonder about trusting anyone I meet for the first time. Although I like to believe that everyone is innocent until proven guilty, this experience increased my skepticism about people in general. My guard is definitely more up to secure myself.
How do we develop trust in people we date? They are practically strangers, yet we leave doors wide open for them to enter. We take risks for love until heart is stolen from us. Then we install alarm system to protect us.
BTW, the police officer who came to my apartment to file a report was HOT! I definitely will let him to my place anytime.