Not an Amazing Race

Sorry gaysiandating followers, I totally skipped a blog last week. But I do have an interesting follow up to my last blog, “Don’t be jealous of my boogie” from two weeks ago. I said yes to Thomas. To lunch, not marriage.

It was Thomas’s birthday this week so we went to my favorite restaurant to celebrate. No, it was not at Starbucks. We spent the entire lunch re-bonding and catching up on lost time. This included talking about few guys we dated. He told me about one guy who gets easily jealous and I initially thought he was talking about me. After two bloody Mary’s, I became brave enough to come clean about the time when I was trying to talk to him at the club while he was surrounded by hot guys. I explained I didn’t want to be in the way of his entourage. He joked and said “you should have just moved those bitches out of your way.”

Often, I feel like I am in a situation in which obstacles are in the way of getting what I want. Ok, I realize I am not the only one who feels this way and perhaps it is a common struggle for all of us in many life circumstances.

Lately, all the guys I meet are already in relationships. Even all the dating apps are full of couples looking for a third. I particularly get frustrated with this because it feels like they get to have cake and eat it too. enhanced-buzz-30062-1378841987-0

It leaves less room for single men like me to meet other single men. Also, I co-exist in the world full of other single gay men who essentially want the same exact trophy as I do. It becomes a competitive race. Do I sprint to cross the finishing line? Or do I throw elbow to everyone in order to win it all?

Many people (especially those who are already in relationships) say to me “you will meet someone when you’re least expecting.” I don’t think I expect anything, but I have desires I want to fulfill and goals I want to accomplish. I also don’t believe that the man of my dreams will just randomly appear at my door. I truly believe that I do have to put some effort into being out there to meet other single men.

Thomas and I are both single and we share the same goals and desires in life, yet we are not competing against each other. Thomas drove me home and gave me a peck on the cheek when he dropped me off. I don’t think I won Thomas, but being around him does make me feel like a winner.

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