thankful

Last week, I wrote about Movember movement, a men’s health awareness month. Also read this blog Psychic vs. Psychologist, a story about a guy I date long time ago who died from cancer. 

GayHealth

I have seen many people my age, including people I dated, develop health problems. That inspires me do my best to stay healthy. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week, I practice yoga, I get plenty of beauty sleep, I eat my vegetables, I try to decrease alcohol consumption, and see my doctor for yearly check-ups.

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Over the summer of this year, I met Alex on OkCupid. He is 44 years old, white, average build and appears to be cute based on his pictures. We exchanged messages and met for dinner. I usually like to talk on the phone before meeting in person, but I decided to skip that stage with Alex. All of his pictures in the profile, he was wearing sun glasses. Which is why I was bit surprised when I saw droop on one side of his face.

He explained that he had a stroke about 7 years ago, which would have been around my age. He suffered paralysis on entire one side of his body and has recovered significantly over time. He now is able to walk and talk. However, he still has some weakness on his hands and some memory problems. He is on disability and after living with his parents for some time, he is now living on his own. When we were about to order drinks, he was trying to order his favorite beer, but he could not remember the name of his beer.

During the entire meal, I was so sad about his whole situation. It was also difficult to find any common interest with Alex and I could not enjoy my time with him. I paid the entire bill of the dinner date with Alex, just to get rid of my guilt.

When I got home, I didn’t know what to do or how to feel about the date. I knew that it would be incredibly challenging for me to develop a new relationship with someone that has a disability. How would someone like me who has never been in a relationship have a boyfriend who has a disability? What would I do if I my long term boyfriend all the sudden develops an illness or a disability.

Despite all the terrible dates I had for the past 20 years, I was at least thankful for what I do have in my life, instead of complaining about not being in a relationship.

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