Fuck Valentine’s Day!

Few years ago, I met Steven on OkCupid and we went on a Valentine’s date. He is in his early 30’s, white guy from the south, who had just moved in to be closer to his brother, who is also gay. Steven had a cute southern accent that I associate with a charming gentleman but he is hardly gentle. During dinner, he mostly complained about people in general. I would describe him as somewhat bitchy, loud, flamboyant…. someone who likes to throw shade.

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I didn’t find him charming at all and I wanted to get out of the date as quickly as possible. I think the last time I had a great Valentine’s Day was when my friend, Greg, took me out. Greg and I had just met at a party and we had a stimulating conversation. He asked me out to dinner, picked me up in his Landrover with flowers, and took me out to get sushi. It was a great time with him. Greg and I never pursued romantic relationship but is probably one of the closest friends now.

Also, read about Ron on a blog from a year ago: St. Valentine vs Buddha.

Today is Valentine’s day. Yes, my goal of 2016 was to be more positive, but I do have to share the most stressful week I have ever experienced. My parents, who are in their retirement age, are going through a really nasty divorce. This is a big shock to me and my entire family.

I know people live happily ever only in fairy tales and all relationships come to some ending. Despite my half-glass empty outlook, I have maintained some hope of love. With so many relationship that have gone so wrong and seeing my parents wash away all the good memories so quickly, these experiences have influenced my view on love. Just when I started to be ready to open to the possibility of love, my heart is closed again. I felt especially lonely to not have a companion who can be a 100% support with shoulders to cry on. It’s also dreadful for a special holiday like today to be reminded about being single. 

Here is the happy ending of this blog. We must never lose the sight of celebration of those relationships we still have. Mothers, fathers, children, grand-children, brothers, sisters, and friends. I was lucky to have many friends who listened and comforted me during this crisis. For that, I am grateful. Perhaps Valentine’s Day  should be celebration of all relationships in life.

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