Be cool. Don’t be an asshole.

Almost 3 years ago, I was chatting with Peter on Grindr. Peter is 10 years younger than me, cute, tall, slender, with a bright smile that is so much bigger probably because of his dark complexion. Peter is Indian so that makes him a gaysian too. He just moved in town to start his medical residency. We met for drinks near his medical school.

Throughout the entire time, he was constantly talking about himself and didn’t ask much about me. I didn’t get any feeling that he had interest in getting to know me. At times, people try to impress someone for the first time by only focusing in their positives. Like online dating websites. We only post the best pictures of ourselves and only talk about positive aspects and achievements. Perhaps Peter was doing everything to impress me but something felt like it was not genuine. I tolerated his self indulgence over 3 drinks and went home.

Few weeks later, I saw him on OkCupid so I messaged him

“First on Grindr, now on Okcupid. :-)”

“I know. Stop stalking me. Damn, I know I’m fine in all, but back the fuck up.”

I hope he was just throwing shade so I replied with sarcasm.


“It makes it easier for me to stalk you when you send me your address phone number and where you work.”

He didn’t reply and I feared he really thought I was stalking him.

Last year, I was talking to a friend of mine who works at a hospital. She was telling me about a young doctor she works with and how he is an arrogant asshole. The more she talked about this doctor, the similar it sounded like Peter. It turns out she was really talking about Peter. I guess he was being true to himself (an asshole) in every setting.

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