Asian American vs Asian Asian

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May is Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. Asians in America have come a long way when it comes to tolerance but continues struggle with acceptance in this white-dominant society.

Regardless, GLBT rights are much stronger in US than Asian countries. Currently, no Asian countries allow same sex couples to legally marry. Many other countries through Europe and Africa legalized same sex marriage and it has been almost a year since the U.S. Supreme Court ruled to legalize same-sex marriage. Read Divorce Equality Too my response to that.  

While it is great to have freedom in this country, I also feel like gays abuse that freedom to the extreme. Most of the gay couples who are married have open marriage. I guess as long as two people in a relationship are in complete agreement with sex outside of marriage. But, my personal values have a conflicting view with the concept of open marriage. Some argue it only helps the relationship to last, which is what Kyle told me when I met him.

Just about a year ago, I met Kyle at a bar. He is in his late 30’s, short, stocky, a cub type.

He is married (to a guy) and they live in New York City. Kyle travels for work and was in town for two days. We had a great conversation and I found his bitchy-sarcastic humor strangely attractive. As we exited the bar, we kissed in the middle of the street which was an invitation to his hotel room where he gave be an amazing BJ (probably best one ever I received).

While I know he and his husband have an agreement, I felt little bit guilty. I also hate being the “other woman.” We stayed in touch and even became Facebook friends, which gave me a great opportunity to Facebook stalk his husband. It made me even more confused because the husband is so attractive. Why would they need to find alternative partners if they have something so great?

I do think Asian Americans acculturate themselves in America but many still hold on to their traditional family values. Gosh, I sound like a total prude.

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3 thoughts on “Asian American vs Asian Asian

  1. polygaylife says:

    It took me a while to get used to an open relationship. My husband has a bf and we are all friends. We are defining our marriage the way we want to and not what society thinks we should. Loving with hands wide open is our motto.

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  2. I agree completely. The gay community is very promiscuous. Finding a monogamy relationship is a longshot. I spent plenty of time with a man in an open relationship too. I never understood that. But I always got what I wanted out of it. So that’s all that matters, I guess.

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