How do you go from casual to serious?

It seems all the guys I have dated, hooked up with or ever been involved in any sort of way in the past, they resurface in my life somehow. Rule of thumb is to never burn bridges with people.

I run into Ted every so often at bars. Read about Ted here: give a little loveRecently saw him at the same bar in the story. We often have a brief “hello, how are you” conversation but having a full dialogue at this bar is impossible with all the drunk and horny gay men around.

Like I said in the earlier blog about Ted, he remembered me when we were re-introduced by a friend. But, I guess Ted didn’t recognize me on Grindr because he sent me messages that started with his dick pic. I could have totally played along, but I came clean and told him it was me.  We did the “hello, how are you chat” for a bit. Then, he mentioned that he became single recently. So I needed a clarification of his intent to message me as well as what happened to us.


We never had a conversation after the dates we had long time ago, but I am glad we cleared it up now. 

This is that constant reminder of how complicated dating is for me. Usually physical attraction is there in the beginning but it slowly fades away as you get to know someone deeper level. So how do you make the relationship evolve? What are other qualities each of the two people are looking for in order to sustain the relationship and continue to have a strong bond? And how long will that bond last? As I factor in person’s emotional intelligence, spirituality, lifestyles, interests, core values, and even demographics like age, location, martial status, and economic status, it seems nearly impossible to have that special someone. Do I then settle with the next best thing to get to the closest possible?

Ted certainly ruled me out of his LTR potential but obviously had physical attraction. So do I settle with a casual fun with Ted without developing anything more than that? After all, Ted says I still “ROCK!”


One thought on “How do you go from casual to serious?

  1. itsmyhusbandandme says:

    It’s tough. Humour helps. Though I know my partner spends a lot of time laughing AT me rather than with me. Your prince will come one day.


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