bar boyfriend

I became disconnected from my blog for the last two months. I blame the elections but now that dust has settled, I am ready to write more. Plus, I now have new materials to write about. But my relationship status remains same.. still single.

I always surprise people when I tell them I have never been in a serious relationship ever in my life. Sure, I have gone out on many many dates and the longest dating period with someone was 6 months. See story about Paul here: Sexual Chemistry 2. But there is not one person I would call a “serious, monogamous, long term relationship, boyfriend.”

Until I find that special person, my friends, Cole, Chad, and I play a silly drunk game called “who is your bar boyfriend” which is to point out a cutest guy at the bar while we hang out at a bar. Though we never actually talk to the bar boyfriend and only fantasize about what we might do with them, I actually talked to my bar boyfriend one night. Conveniently, my bar boyfriend was talking to another friend, so I went up to him to say hi and my friend introduced me to Tony, my bar boyfriend.

Tony is the typical tall goofy boy I lust over. We hit it off and talked about work as we were in similar field. He is 28 years old and definitely had an appearance of a young boy. It’s a weird feeling that the more I age, the younger my taste of guys gets.

We went to another bar. Tony came along with us and I really had this illusion (or drunk haze) of us dating. It became more reassuring when he friend-requested me on Facebook, which is obviously close to a long term relationship. So as I do a thorough research on his Facebook page next day, I noticed that his relationship status is “in relationship.”


Once more, I constantly pick a guy who is not available. This is the part when I have an internal struggle. Do I dare and still ask him out? Do I let it go to not waste my time and focus on other guys who are single and available?

As much as I would like to be in a LTR, it’s not as easy as my friends make it seem. I have had many conversations with friends who are in LTR about me never being in a LTR. While I appreciate their support for me to be in a LTR, sometimes it feels so judgy to be around them. Especially when they ask “Why are you still single?” More than likely, they mean to say “you’re amazing in every way and anyone would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend.” But irrational part of me hears it as “there must be something wrong with you that nobody wants to be with you.”

If you are in a relationship and you have a close friend who is a single and you want them to be in a relationship. Please do me and your friend a favor and DO NOT ask “why are you still single?” Instead, set your friend up with another single person. Even if it you feels like they may not be a good match, just do it. Your friend can decided for him/herself if it will work out.

In terms of Tony, I dared myself to try something different. I asked Tony out but he kindly explained about his relationship.

7 thoughts on “bar boyfriend

  1. Hey

    I know this is an old post, but I’ve just got on to your blog because you liked something on mine.

    I would never say that you are single because none of those people want to be in a relationship with you.

    But after reading quite a lot of your blog (it’s very readable) I wonder if you are single because you don’t really want to be in a relationship with them.


    • All the guys I dated, there has not been anyone who had mutual feelings. Either I like him and he does not like me back or he likes me but I don’t like him back. If there is a mutual feeling, the guy is already in a relationship and open, which is not what I want.


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