Play this song as you read. Believe me, it helps.
While I was in NOLA with Dylan (read about him here: Jazz it up), I was thinking about one of my favorite books, Density of Souls, by Christopher Rice, who is Anne Rice’s son and gay. It’s love story about a gay teenager in high school in New Orleans and friendships with twist and turns, involving a romance with a friend. While I was in NOLA, I tried to picture some of the scenes from the book.
Interesting twist and turn happened for me that same week, I went to Florida after hanging out with Dylan in NOLA. It was mainly to chill by the beach but also to spend some time with Russell, whom I connected with on Tinder in January.
Russell is in his 30s who recently became single after a 7 year relationship. He is an elementary school teacher, into fitness, books, and animals (he has a cat and a bearded dragon). After a mutual swipe right match on Tinder, we kept in touch for two months via FaceTime. I find his sense of humor charming, not to mention his cute smile.
So, I arrived at the airport in Florida, about 10 minutes earlier than scheduled. Russell was going to pick me up from the airport, but he was not there. I called him but he didn’t answer the phone. For a moment, I was worried about being catfished, which I thought about it before the trip so I had planned to stay in a hotel in case that happened. Luckily he did call back after about 10 minutes.
Immediately, we went out to dinner, which turned into bar hopping. Maybe it was all the beers from New Orleans still in my blood stream or the Florida heat, but I got drunk very quickly. At the end of the night, Russell and I were making out in the middle of the street. Public display of affection is not my thing but I really enjoyed it.
Next day, we walked around the beach and had dinner by the water. After dinner, we got a bottle of wine and sat in the courtyard of the hotel I stayed in. It was a beautiful breezy evening and I had my Spotify playlist of my favorite songs on.
We surveyed about each other intensely. Turns out we had many common interests. We both like same musicals and we both like cheesy rom-com movies. He is a total book worm and I asked him what his favorite book was. His response was Christopher Rice’s Density of Souls. Out of all the books he has read, this was his favorite and I was just thinking about that book few days before. “Fade in you” By Mazzy Star was playing.
Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the music, but I felt the butterflies in my stomach as I thought to myself ‘Is Russell is my soul mate?’
I returned home next day. Russell and I never agreed to anything, we both knew that we were not in a place (physically) and time to be in a relationship.
For the first few days after I got home, I still had the butterflies in my stomach. But he became more distant than usual. We were already far apart physically, but his response to my text messages were less and less and he didn’t answer to my FaceTime calls.
Even though it turned out less than what I had hoped and I didn’t have any expectations going to Florida. Overall, I feel good about taking a chance.