Art of dating

It was late fall of last year. Carson and I both swiped right on Tinder. He is in his mid 40’s, bald, white guy with beautiful smile with dimples that is more of a crease on cheeks instead of a dot. It didn’t take long chats for us to arrange a date. There was an open artist studio festival in upcoming weekend so we decided to go get cultured.

First, we met up at a cafe for a quick breakfast sandwich and coffees to go in a paperclip.  Oddly, I like drinking coffee out of a paper cup with Java sleeve instead of a ceramic mug. It makes me feel like I am a hipster.

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Carson was surprisingly shorter that he appears on photos. Which height never has been a deal breaker for me. If anything I kinda sexy to embrace a guy who is shorter than me.

As we sip on our coffees in paper cups, we walked around the streets of the local artist district.  We drop in studio to studio looking at beautiful paintings to photography to home made soaps and compared notes and ideas of what we would want to create or draw. Apparently, he studied art in college. We both felt a burst of inspiration to be creative. Overall, it was one of my best first dates ever. 

After that date, we had several dinner dates, trivia game night at a bar, all ending with passionate kiss in his car as he drops me off.  When we kissed, he made this soft growling sound and it actually turned me on.

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One day, Carson took me to a botanical garden. It was in the late fall and most of the trees and plants either turned colors or almost dormant. After walking around in nature all day, he took me to his place. Carson has a beautiful with modern decor. I particularly liked his backyard with string of lights above a wooden patio seats.

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We made out in the patio then slowly transitioned to his bedroom. I really enjoyed our sexy time and I did climax but he didn’t get to finish. This is that awkward moment and I often question ‘is it me or him?’  I am sometimes selfish when it comes to activities in bed. As much as I want to please my partner, I want him to do all the work. After I came we took a shower and I went home.

It was almost Thanksgiving holiday which is typically busy time with family.  Carson was out of town for a bit and after the holiday I reached out to him but never heard back. It’s so difficult to have not have the opportunity to formally end with some dialogue to explain that rejection. But to be honest, not being accepted and not getting what I want happens more frequently than not. At this point, it doesn’t even bother me anymore. I used to feel sad about it, but now i just feel numb.

Earlier this week I Facebook stalked Carson. There were photos of him and his new boyfriend in Provincetown, which is strange because I was also there at he same time he was… with his new boyfriend.

Read “Another Misses Connections” about another artist.

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