Two years ago, I wrote a blog about 10 dating principles as part of new year’s goal. As I review this, I have deviated from some of these values at times. Very first one is he must be single! That means not married (even if separated) or have a boyfriend or any other serious committed long term relationships. Apparently, I can’t even stick to rule # 1 because I constantly encounter guys who are not single.
One of them was Wade, whom, oddly, I connected with on OkCupid. He didn’t have face photos (just body parts obviously) but his profile intrigued me. He is 35, white guy, who is into outdoor activities and beer. I clicked on “like” and OkCupid let me know we were a match. I messaged him first then we used Snapchat to…. you know, snap and chat.
Once we discussed about meeting up, he disclosed that he’s straight and oh, has a girlfriend of 2 years. Despite this, I became more curious about him. We decided to meet for coffee, which is an “easy-to-escape-if-it’s-bad” meet up option. But I didn’t feel the need to escape when I met him. Wade was definitely cute with this dark long hair, with green eyes, and so Italian.
After coffee, we both went home. We continued our conversation on Snapchat, suggesting what we wanted to do with each other. One thing lead to another, he came over. He was on his way to the gym, so when he showed up at my door in his gym clothes, then I took him “straight” to my bed. (sorry about the cheesy pun)
Judging by the sounds he made and the way he gripped my body, I was certain that he’s not straight. As I was attempting to make lip to lip contact, he stopped me. Apparently, he wasn’t comfortable with kissing.
Perhaps Wade was still trying to figure out his sexuality or he felt guilty. But it didn’t stop the flirty messages on Snapchat. It went on for several months, often asking each other how our days were. On new years day, I messaged him to wish him happy new year. Apparently he deleted me from the contact list on Snap Chat. Another “got ghosted” situation and I will never know the reason.
Although men-to-men action has always been around, historically, it was strictly behind closed doors. But, there is this new sexually fluid trend that makes it more socially acceptable for straight identified guys to sexually experiment with other guys. Few articles talk about this: Here is what happens when straight guys use Tinder to pick up other guys and Why Straight Men Have Sex With Each Other. There is also a book Not Gay: Sex between Straight White Men (Sexual Cultures) written by Jane Ward.
I was thinking about adding the rule he must NOT be straight on my 10 dating principles. But why limit myself? But, I should still stick to the rule that he should be single and available. Oh, and I decided to delete OkCupid again. It seems to go no where. Read Oh, gay cupid, last time I deleted OkCupid.