Am I the only one who struggles with teasing out difference between friendship and romantic relationship? I am frequently faced with (literally) kissing friends and it creates confusion about our relationships. My ideal relationship would be someone who I consider a good friend infused with romance. But when the two don’t mix well, then it can lead to no relationships at all. It happened several years ago when I kissed Conner at a party. Read about that story here: Kissing a friend.
About 2 years ago, I went to my friend’s birthday party and met Dennis, who is 40-something white guy who is not afraid to show some feminine qualities.
Dennis impressed me with this strong work ethic and genuine positive attitude about life in general.
One night, I was out at a club and was tipsy after several Tito’s & sodas. I ran into Dennis, who was also tipsy, more than me. As soon as DJ put on Whitney Houston’s I wanna dance with somebody, we both lip synced for life and danced wildly on the dance floor. I guess I wanted to feel the “heeeeeaaaat with somebody” because I started to make out with him as we danced. Alcohol always alters your judgment and I couldn’t clearly determine if he liked it or not. Regardless, I kept kissing him. When the song was over, he stopped, and pretty much left the dance floor.
After that night, we repeated the drink-dance-kiss pattern few times for the next several months. We even did date-like activities…. theatre shows, wine & dinner, and even a trip out of town together. But slowly the thrill faded away and I began to see him more as friend. It became clear when he told me that he went out on a date with a guy named Frederick, whom I had a crush on for several years. (BTW – more to come about Frederik on my next blog). Now Dennis is one of my closest friends and I am so glad we didn’t turn out the way it did with Conner.
Again, an ideal boyfriend is a companion infused with romance. After all, I need a man who will take a chance on a love that burns hot enough to last. Simply put, yeeeaaah, I wanna dance with somebody… with somebody who loves me.