June is the official Pride month and many cities throughout the world is celebrating diversity. Whether you’re, L, G, B, T, T, Q, Q, I, A, A, P, # or whatever letters or alpha numeric characters you’re, people come together to make the world little bit better to counter the constant social media posts and videos of feuds stemming from bigotry. It will be 50 years next year since the Stonewall riot, which gays in Greenwich Village of NYC sparked a movement of gay rights.
Thanks to those gays 50 years ago, a path was created that we are in now. Without them, none of the letters of LGBTTQQIAAP, will exist.
But, some have forgotten this historical context of why pride month exists. It has become a P&P scenes with lots of alcohol and drugs instead. I am guilty of that as I drank mimosas all morning and beers in the afternoon, then passed out by 8 pm. (which is exactly what I did yesterday). Gays LOVE booze and drugs. For some, too much. Perhaps to get rid of their undesired negative feelings. As we saw tragic news this week about Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, sadly, suicide becomes an option in severe cases. Read this blog about suicide awareness: 13 Reasons Why I wrote this blog.
About 3 months ago, I connected with a guy on Chappy. He is in his early 30’s with a cute smile. We made plans to have dinner one evening. As we greeted over checking out the cocktail menu, I asked him if he drinks. Now, this is a question I never ask, especially during first date, because default is everyone does. I didn’t expect him to say no. so it caught me off guard and I didn’t quite know how to proceed the conversation. It is very much possible that he’s a straight-edge, earthy-crunchy, organic-only type, but being a judgey person I am, based on his overweight appearance, I also felt confused about his non-alcohol consumption practice. So, my reaction to him was “that’s amazing.” He then openly explained that he is in recovery. I asked him more questions about his recovery to avoid having a disgust look on my face.
He talked about growing up in a very religious family and struggles with acceptance due to rejection from family based on beliefs and values inconsistent with his. This is a familiar theme and I can certainly relate to. He found alcohol as a way to manage the negative feelings and perhaps alcohol was the only thing that accepted him, in a world of rejection. He talked about his close involvement in Gay + Sober community to celebrate his sober pride. It was rather eye opening for me to learn that there is a community amongst gays which the mission is to support an alcohol free living.
He permitted me by reassuring me not to let him stop me from ordering a drink. So I shamelessly had a glass of wine. After the dinner, we said bye and I think we both realized we’re not a good match. Though alcohol thing is one factor to our different lifestyles, it’s even more than that. His relationship with alcohol is different from mine and I also have a relationship issues with peoples with alcoholism, after growing up in family with alcoholism. We just couldn’t find anything that would help us connect better.
Oh BTW, as we were walking out of the restaurant, I ran into Aaron. Read about Aaron here: Sexual Chemistry.
I know this blog somehow turned dark real quick so I will leave in a brighter way. As I was walking to the pride event yesterday, I overheard a young family of mom, dad, and their child who is probably about 5. They saw a big rainbow flag and the child was amused. Mom explained to the child that “well, you know how at school, there are kids who look different? All the colors of rainbow look different too, but when the colors all come together, it’s so much more beautiful.”