Too good to be true

We live in a time period which stories of bad guys doing bad things are constantly on the news. This creates “see something and say something” atmosphere and we are constantly on high alert.  But it often causes more of an irrational fear for the society to sniff out bad guys and miss out opportunities of good guys.

This applies to my dating world. When these experiences happen over and over again, I tend to develop a high alert to protect myself. One incident was when I thought I was video taped during some adult activities without my consent.  Read Stranger Danger

All day, every day, we encounter people who are strangers to us and trying to develop trusting relationships with people can be difficulty after these victimizing experiences. While I hope good things happen to me in my life, when it actually does, I get skeptical. And when things seem too good to be true, it actually is too good to be true.

About few months ago, I got a “tap” from Nathan on Grindr. He’s 27 with a clear face picture on his profile. I started to chat with him and he responded back fairly quickly. He even sent me more photos of his cute face. Though I was impressed that I can get cute guys too, one thought I had was ‘hot guys like him never massages me.’ We chatted for a bit and talked about meeting up. Then, he mentioned about getting assaulted in the past by someone he met on Grindr. He even sent me photos of his bruised legs. To make sure he can trust me and I don’t gay bash him or something, he asked me sign up for an online registration program by donating $2.

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I never heard such thing and something about it sounded fishy. I Google searched this and there are several websites that looks pretty legit. But something about having to do that level of measure seemed like too much work to go out on a date. Then I just saw this warning messages from Grindr.


I never messaged him back and blocked him on Grindr.

About a month ago, I downloaded Surge dating app after frustrating experiences with other dating apps. A really cute guy messaged me. He is also in his 20’s who apparently is in military stationed in Serbia. He even sent me many photos of him in military uniform. The messages seemed like a real person but his English seemed bit strange.


Just as I was thinking ‘why is this cute 20 something year old messaging me and why is he so into romance?’ It just seemed too good to be true. So, I Google searched phishing stories on Surge app. Turns out, there are many stories, particularly about people in military service who is station outside of US being mostly scams to send them money. They tend to mostly target guys in their 40’s (which is me). I immediately blocked him and deleted the app too.

I am so over these apps now.


7 thoughts on “Too good to be true

  1. Donate $2? How exactly would this app validate you a good person? I find that meeting in public is usually a good first step. I would never invite someone directly to my place. You never really know though.


  2. So very frustrating! Especially two occurrences in a relatively short period of time. I only use one website, and then only infrequently, maybe once or twice a year for a couple of months – I get fed up with the monotony of nothing really happening. It’s also hard to see both how lazy people are, putting no more effort into their profiles than the minimum required for activation; and the shabby manner that guys treat each other: no fats, no fems, DDF – like there’s people out there *recreationally* spreading disease, seems more psychotic to assume that than it is likely there’s someone thinking, “Chlamydia, YES! I am going to be SO busy this week, Suckas!”. And let’s not forget the ageism for us oldies.
    But now that you mention it, there were two young guys I was talking to that fit your “too good to be true” profile. We chatted off and on for a few days on different occasions. Then their profiles mysteriously went dark and I haven’t seen them on since, with my last messages remaining unread. I just assume they got distracted, but maybe there was an ulterior motive…although they never asked me for personal info, one did dramatically describe the financial struggles of being young in Portland. Who knows where that could have led?


      • OMG, on that last point, I had a date with a guy a couple days ago who seemed disappointed that “being Thai” wasn’t my obvious favorite thing about him.
        “Sorry to disappoint, but I kinda liked you for just…you, if that’s ok?”


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