Sink or Swim?

Last week, I wrote about Dylan, a Tinder date that actually went well compared to many others. Read about Dylan here: Jazz it up. But Dylan is a rare situation. One of failed Tinder connection is, Richard, whom I connected with while I was vacationing in Orlando last year. After a swipe right match, we chatted for every day for about a week.

Richard is a white guy, in his mid 30’s, who was born in Mississippi but lived all over the world. He is currently in graduate school in Orlando. He is a long distance runner and a certified scuba diver. He was impressed with my photos, which consisted of me doing various active things like road races, attempting to water ski, zip lining, and body surfing in the pacific ocean when I went to Mexico. (see the story about Mexico trip here: como te gusta mi pinga )

Richard wanted to FaceTime and he got even hotter when I heard his Aussie accent. Apparently, Australia is one of the places he lived for a long period. I wanted to keep swiping the screen right when I was talking to him.

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Jazz it up

Two weeks ago, I witnessed a confusing and uncomfortable announcement of best picture winner of the Oscars. Due to someone’s fuck up, La La Land was mistakenly announced to be the winner, then quickly it got taken away when they actual winner, Moonlight, was called.

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Both movies tell an emotional journal about love accompanied by pain and hurt. I liked both movies, but I enjoyed La La Land more, only because it was infused with music and dance. Particularly, jazz music makes me feel something special. Seb (Ryan Gosling character) descries jazz music as “It’s conflict, it’s compromise, and it’s very, very exciting.”

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It feels like the quote also refers to love. Personally, I think love is an illusion usually floating in clouds (which was one of the scenes in La La Land). But having butterflies in the stomach never really happens in real life. Love, though exciting, always comes with conflict and need for compromise.

To feel jazzed up, I recently went to New Orleans for the firs time. I went with Dylan, a Tinder date from 2 years ago whom I met in Florida while I was visiting family. We met for drinks and talked about our career (we both work in similar industry), our family (we both have family drama), and our passion (we both like music and beer). He is a white guy, exactly my age, tall, who is the “boy scouts” type – he would make a great partner to go camping in the wilderness with.

Dylan and I kept in touch for 2 years and we have been toying the idea of taking a trip together for a while. So we chose New Orleans as our rendevouz. We stayed right middle of French Quarter. Though, it was the weekend after Mardi Gras, yet the city was full of partiers spilling out of bars on the sewer-smelling Bourbon Street.

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Exchange saliva, not phone numbers

Though going out to a club to dance all night is not my top preference, but I enjoy it once in a while. Usually, I am dancing on my own.

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But I met many boys, some of which I dated for a bit. Read about them here: ScottLiamStanGary, and Will 

One night at a club, while I was dancing on my own, I met  Seth, a cute white hipster’s boy with dorky glasses and ginger beard. Totally my type!! It happened really fast, but as soon as I started to dance with him, we were sucking faces.

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Forget you

Few weekends ago, I was at a bar with my friends, Cole, Sam, and Warren and across the bar is was a gay couple. Judging by the matching rings on their ring fingers, they were married. Throughout our few drinks, the couple kept looking at me and even gestured hello-smile at one point. My friends assumed I had 3-some with them given the track record of couples approaching me for 3 way ALL THE TIME!!!

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Oh, gay cupid

I can confidently say I am not the only one who hates Valentine’s day. In my opinion, there is unrealistic pressure for a couple to show their love towards his/her partner by going out to the most expensive restaurant, buying chocolates, flowers and cards. It’s just too commercialized. I believe the best way to say I love you is through oral communication.. literally using words. See previous blogs about Valentine’s day: Fuck Valentine’s Day and St. Valentine vs. Buddha

About 5 years ago, I signed up for okcupid. As you might have read some of the dating stories, I had some good ones and some not so good ones. One of them was Frankie, whom I connected with around Valentine’s Day 2 years ago. Frankie is in his early 30’s, white, about my height with an attractive physique. He works in finance and had a charismatic confidence without arrogance. With the Valentine’s day crowd, it was impossible to go out to dinner. So we had coffee. We talked about his apple watch and all of his travels. Though he had very little questions about me, I felt good about our date and was feeling really reassured when text messages / sexting continued after the coffee date. I thought “finally, a cupid shot an arrow in me!”

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I felt even more reassured when we became Facebook friends. Then, I noticed many mutual friends, including Sam. Read about Sam here: mom > BF.  Turns out Frankie and Sam dated long time ago. It’s always awkward to have these close associations. Gay community is just a big web of incestuous relationships.

Frankie and I kept in touch but did not remeet for another year, again coffee date around Valentines day. While we were sipping on our cafe lattes, he whispered that he wasn’t wearing underwear at the time. He also wanted to show me his cock ring. It went from apple watch and travel to Europe to this? Suddenly, I had a funny vision in my head, me kneeling down front of Frankie, proposing on Valentines day, but with a cock ring. In reality, I think he was proposing to hook up in the bathroom and I had a very different expectations because we met on okcupid, not Grindr.

So after 5 years and no fucking cupid’s arrow anywhere, I made a decision to kill the fucking cupid! I deleted Tinder few weeks ago, I deleted Grindr last week, and now okcupid.. deleted!

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For the rest of the year, I am going to try something different by not relying on these cyberspace socialization. Although, sexting with Frankie will continue on. Perhaps I will hook up with him on Valentine’s day this year. 

Body shame.

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America is obsessed with football. I just can’t imagine what’s so exciting watching burly men in tights throw and catch a ball, drinking lots of booze, eating unhealthy foods and occasionally laughing at funny commercials. Maybe I will watch Lady Gaga’s performance though. Read about previous Super Bowl day story here: Love for Football.

Additional to football, America is obsessed with physical appearance, particularly being big and fit like football players. This body obsession is more common within the gay community.

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But for me, I sometimes find myself attracted to extremely big guys who are not afraid to display non-masculine character traits. I recently went out on a date with someone who is fat and fem.

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