sexual chemistry

I met Aaron about 6 years ago though a mutual friend. He is 2 years older than me, white, tall and slightly overweight. He had amazing big blue eyes and I am a big sucker for that. He is a chemistry professor, who had a nerdy sex appeal.


After our dinner date, he took me to his office at his college campus. We talked while he was checking his emails from students.

Whenever he spoke, he would rub his hands together back and forth, like he was warming them up in cold weather.


He would then lick his lips before he spoke. I found it so cute. I think it was the scientist in him to process information before he spoke. He was always thoughtful about his words and I felt like I was mouthful.

We were definitely mouthful when we kissed. He was gentle and staring at his big blue eyes enhanced the kissing experience. I then had this visual fantasy of having sex in the professor’s office. But I was too cautious so we went back to his apartment. He lived with two straight roommates, who were also nerdy hot. I probably spend more time talking to them than with Aaron.

When we were about to have sex in his room by me taking his clothes off, he declined and kept putting his clothes back on. He told me he wanted to wait until he felt more comfortable. This is a reasonable decision, but I felt very rejected.  Plus having two other hot straight guys in the apartment made me even more sexually eager.

Rejection is very difficult to accept and sexual rejection is even more traumatizing for me. I also have to remind myself that I didn’t feel comfortable with certain guys and had to decline their sexual initiatives. Aaron might have wanted to be sure that I am trustworthy to be intimate. Or he didn’t have sexual chemistry with me. 

We drifted apart after few dates but I see him every once in a while. Even though he was a chemistry professor, he could not create a good chemistry between us.