I have been on a dating app called Chappy for a few years. It’s another dating app that is similar to Tinder, swiping right when the photo sparks joy.
What I like most about Chappy is it’s only for gays and mostly into looking for a relationship rather than just “fun” like Grindr.
There have been many matches on Chappy for me and some that are actually responding to my messages. But, for most, it’s radio silence when I message them.
We live in a time period which stories of bad guys doing bad things are constantly on the news. This creates “see something and say something” atmosphere and we are constantly on high alert. But it often causes more of an irrational fear for the society to sniff out bad guys and miss out opportunities of good guys.
This applies to my dating world. When these experiences happen over and over again, I tend to develop a high alert to protect myself. One incident was when I thought I was video taped during some adult activities without my consent. Read Stranger Danger
All day, every day, we encounter people who are strangers to us and trying to develop trusting relationships with people can be difficulty after these victimizing experiences. While I hope good things happen to me in my life, when it actually does, I get skeptical. And when things seem too good to be true, it actually is too good to be true.
About few months ago, I got a “tap” from Nathan on Grindr. He’s 27 with a clear face picture on his profile. I started to chat with him and he responded back fairly quickly. He even sent me more photos of his cute face. Though I was impressed that I can get cute guys too, one thought I had was ‘hot guys like him never massages me.’ We chatted for a bit and talked about meeting up. Then, he mentioned about getting assaulted in the past by someone he met on Grindr. He even sent me photos of his bruised legs. To make sure he can trust me and I don’t gay bash him or something, he asked me sign up for an online registration program by donating $2.
One night about 7 months ago, I was swiping impulsively on Tinder, hoping to hear a “brrrring” sound when a match happens.
After about 20 swipes, I matched with Landon. He is 30 years old, white guy who is a chemistry professor. Read about Aaron on Sexual Chemistry another chemistry professor I went out with long time ago.
Landon and I went to dinner one night and when I saw him in person, I noticed he is so much shorter than I had imagined. We went to a tapas restaurant and had the usual first date dialogue. Where are you from? how many siblings do you have? Where did you go to school? Where have you traveled to? We conversed in ways that seemed rehearsed as we were on a job interview. Typically if I like someone I have many questions about them, but I found myself not paying attention to him. Unless first date was absolutely horrible, I usually give everyone a second date to get to know them better.
Last week, I wrote about Dylan, a Tinder date that actually went well compared to many others. Read about Dylan here: Jazz it up. But Dylan is a rare situation. One of failed Tinder connection is, Richard, whom I connected with while I was vacationing in Orlando last year. After a swipe right match, we chatted for every day for about a week.
Richard is a white guy, in his mid 30’s, who was born in Mississippi but lived all over the world. He is currently in graduate school in Orlando. He is a long distance runner and a certified scuba diver. He was impressed with my photos, which consisted of me doing various active things like road races, attempting to water ski, zip lining, and body surfing in the pacific ocean when I went to Mexico. (see the story about Mexico trip here: como te gusta mi pinga )
Richard wanted to FaceTime and he got even hotter when I heard his Aussie accent. Apparently, Australia is one of the places he lived for a long period. I wanted to keep swiping the screen right when I was talking to him.