daddy issues

If you’re looking to read an uplighting story, this one is not it. It’s about to get Debby Downer real quick.

Exactly thirty years ago this month, my biological father died from a tragic accident. I was only 8 at the time and somehow I spent my childhood without grieving the loss.

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happy daddy day

About 3 years ago, I met Daniel. He is almost 15 years older than me, white, nice hairy chest, somewhat muscular, dark hair, and blue eyes. Despite our age difference, I felt sexually comfortable with him. When we had sex, he wore a jockstrap and I have to admit, it was soooo high school locker room fantasy.


Overall, he was “swipe right” in bed. While I was attracted to Daniel physically, it felt challenging to connect with him personally due to the age difference.

Last year, I was vacationing in NYC and I ran into Daniel randomly at a gay bar. We kept in touch and he invited to me a party he was hosting. I think almost 90% of the people at the party were Asians. And most younger than me. He definitely deserved the “rice queen” title. 


Relationship between a rice queen & a potato queen is an interesting phenomenon. I see so many young gaysians with older white daddies. I don’t know why this is so common. Perhaps it’s a twisted gay version of Freud’s Oedipus complex.

Sigmund Freud

At the party, the one guy I was most attracted to happens to be an older white daddy type…. literally, he was a father of three children.


After the party, a bunch of gaysians went out to dinner. I then noticed myself being attracted to them. Rather than sexual attraction, I found myself being connected with them in ways I cannot possibly connect with older white daddies. After all, I like rice more than potato. Except french fries. I really love french fries.


 Several months ago, I hooked up with Daniel again. He wore the jockstrap again. Maybe he wears it everyday.