Singled out

About 4 years ago, I started chatting with Keegan on Grindr. He’s a cute white guy who is same age as me. It was pretty flirty and he sent me some dick pics voluntarily, which I did actually enjoy receiving. We sexted for months then lost touch.

Few months ago, I was at a gay bar. An Asian guy and a white guy walked in (sounds like a start of a cheesy joke) and sat right next to me. They were both cute and I started chatting with them. Turns out they live in my neighborhood and they are NOT a couple. But white guy, Marshall, is married. They are friends who have been organizing an open studios event for neighborhood local artists and invited to Marshall’s husband’s art showing next month.

So I show up to this event last month and there was Marshall and his artist husband, Keegan. They, along with rest of the gay couples all over, are in an open relationship.

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It is so rare that I randomly talk to cute guys at a bar but when I do, I constantly pick someone who is already in a relationship and I am getting irritated that I am not even in one to consider being open. When I am on the dating apps, at least half of the profiles are “married” and “open relationships.” And the singles are only looking for NSA hook-ups.

Am I a singled-out-single looking for another single guy to date? All the single ladies, put your hands up!

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Connect to internet to be more disconnected from people

I just watched a movie called Her. It’s a romantic sci-fi drama film, written, directed, and produced by Spike Jonze. The main character, Theodore, develops a relationship with Samantha, an artificial intelligence through an operating system. He then loses interest when a mysterious existence became too much of a reality. Plus he was getting jealous of Samantha “seeing” other users. Love does make you do crazy things.

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It is a bizarre story, yet it resonated with me, particularly with advancing technology for people to connect these days. For me, it started with AOL back around year 2000. Read the story about meeting Chris on AOL here: Fumbling towards Ecstasy.

Almost 20 years after Y2K threat, technology has advanced to instant message capabilities on a small little cellular phone that also has a system that follows your verbal instructions. Call me paranoid, but I think Siri listens to all my conversations and pulls ads on my social media feeds. But, I don’t want to contradict as I write my entire personal life stories on this blog for world to see.

Grindr, Scruff, Jack’d, Surge, Hornet, Chappy, Tinder, etc. are the now AOL, which allows you to instantly connect with other app users for dates, hook ups, and maybe even fall in love with an actual person, not an artificial intelligence that bitch Samantha.

Back in 2016, I chatted with this cute guy on Grindr. His name was Shaun, who was in his early 30’s white guy who worked in a local government office. We had a typical superficial chats with unsolicited dick pics from him. Then I decided to give him my number. He texted me and it got no where.

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Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

In my last blog, I wanna dance with somebody, I gave you a teaser about a guy named Frederick, whom Dennis went out on a date with.

About 2 years ago, Frederick and I matched on OkCupid. He is about 3 years older than me, pasty white boy with pretty blue eyes, cute smile, and nerdy glasses. We chatted, exchanged phone numbers, and even became Facebook friends as we had several mutual friends. However, Frederick and I never had a chance to meet in person. While I was stalking him on Facebook for the next few months, I noticed that all of his pictures were with a cute gaysian. It was pretty clear that he was Frederick’s boyfriend and perhaps this is why we didn’t meet.

Last year, I heard some rumors from friends that Frederick and his boyfriend broke up. Soon after, I was on Tinder and Frederick’s profile showed up. Of course I swiped right and we were a match. I took the opportunity of his singlehoood and hit him up. We finally made plans to meet and went to a gay bar on a Sunday late afternoon. We drank rum & coke (not my usual cocktail), which to led to dancing, which led to physical contact, which led to kiss. Frederick was not the best kisser but I found him adorable regardless.

His hand was on my butt and he commented how nice it was. I commented his was better and whispered what I wanted to do with his. I had a hard-on on the dance floor and I was pretty much trying to have sex with him on the dance floor.

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Straight AF

Two years ago, I wrote a blog about 10 dating principles as part of new year’s goal. As I review this, I have deviated from some of these values at times. Very first one is he must be single! That means not married (even if separated) or have a boyfriend or any other serious committed long term relationships. Apparently, I can’t even stick to rule # 1 because I constantly encounter guys who are not single.

One of them was Wade, whom, oddly, I connected with on OkCupid. He didn’t have face photos (just body parts obviously) but his profile intrigued me. He is 35, white guy, who is into outdoor activities and beer. I clicked on “like” and OkCupid let me know we were a match. I messaged him first then we used Snapchat to…. you know, snap and chat.

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I want the WHOLE package, not just a package

Yesterday morning, I went to spin class and as soon I walked in to the locker room, I saw Baylor half naked and I tried my best to not do this:

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I connected with Baylor about 3 years ago on Grindr. He is same age as me, white, sexy-bald head, short-stocky, physically fit type of a guy who can easily be mistaken for a bear. It started with a typical Grindr chat which included photo sharing. We also shared phone numbers and texted about sewing, which was a 180 turn from the chat we had on Grindr.

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Wait, did he just say his boyfriend?!? He just slipped in there between fabric shopping and gayness of sewing. This was surprising yet not, given my track record of being only attracted to unavailable men. Regardless, we continued to flirt.

After the spin class yesterday, he invited me over to his place and we hung out for a bit. He talked about sewing and knitting and I pretended to listen as I was visualizing “sewing and knitting” him with my hands and my tongue. But I kept telling myself that I don’t want to get involved with unavailable men.  Nothing happened and I went home. As soon as I got home, I received a text from him.

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I realized my hormones were highly activated after the spin class so I had to properly cool down from the intense work-out (and Baylor’s text messages). I clarified with Baylor about his relationship status which he and his boyfriend have an open relationship.

Even though sewing and kitting a cute boy once in a while can be fun, I want the whole outfit and the wardrobe. I am looking for the whole package of relationship which can include going to the gym together then having another sweaty work-out in bed afterwards.

Kissing a friend

Every year, a friend of mine throws Kentuck-gay Derby party, which is is just an excuse to dress up and drink Mint Juleps. It’s mostly white boys in khakis and pink polo shirts. One guy who was there is Conner who is a friend of a friend, whom I usually never hang out on my own. Conner is a white guy who is just about my age. He’s someone who is fairly a big guy with ginger’ish hair. I have known him for at least 7 years and I have never view him as someone I am attracted to.

During last year’s Kentuck-gay Derby party, I chatted with Conner a lot. After too many Mint Juleps, I kissed him as we were walking out of the party.

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Happy second birthday, Jesus.

Several months ago, I met Robert at a party where I ran into Carl. Read about Carl here: when hook ups show up.

Robert is in his mid 30’s, tall, pale white, ginger’ish blond, blue eyes, who is geeky-sexy. Throughout the party, I kept staring at his nice butt and being 6 foot 5 he is, it felt like it was right in my face every time he turned around.

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He was incredibly kind and sweet. He was easy to talk to but I felt like I had to scream facing up at him because he was so freaking tall. Robert works in non-profit doing humanitarian work. He describes himself as an idealist who truly seems like an idealist.

After the party, he drove me home and all of my friends assumed that we hooked up, just because we left the party together.

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