It’s been a year since gay marriage became legal in US and many gays got married since. What always confuses me is those who are in open marriages. Read about married guys I hooked up with here: Divorce Equality too.
Few months after the US Supreme Court legalized gay marriage, I received a friend request from, Kevin, a cute guy on Facebook, who had many mutual friends. While it is not my usual way to meet guys, we exchanged phone numbers and flirted with each other for weeks.
Then this happened as he recommended a Chinese restaurant he’s been to:
I was so confused of what his intent was when he first reached out to me. I stopped communicating with him after realizing there is no possibility of building any significant relationship with him other than having mutual friends on Facebook.
It also made me question what I would want in a married relationship. I think if people were flirting with my husband, in someways, it will be a compliment ‘yep, my husband is so cute, everyone wants him and I have him.’ What if my husband was flirting back? Would that make me jealous? What if I was flirting with other guys?
For me, flirting is acceptable behavior in marriage and I will probably view it harmless socialization with people who are appealing to talk to. But, if the intent to flirt is more than a simple person-to-person interaction, I think I’d be hurt. I don’t know if Kevin’s husband knows about these text messages but if I was his husband, I don’t think I’d appreciate it. I believe marriage should not happen until I am assured that my partner and I are able to have complete trust in each other. I guess I am vey traditional in some sense.
I also thought about what kind of wedding I would want. I have been to many many weddings and many of the couples spend thousands of dollars and months to plan. But what is too much? Especially when half of marriages end in divorce and people remarry. Also, they invite many guests including some distant relatives they barely know. Yes, there is something special about announcing that I want to commit to someone to people around me. But I prefer to have more intimate wedding with my closest friends who have served significant importance in my life.
Am I a good husband material?