unmatch

Shortly after I met Fred  (from last week’s blog awkward first date 2), I met Henry, also on match.com. (I sound like a match.com slut). He is 2 years younger than me, white, tall, with a cute smile. He described himself as a smart, loyal, honest guy with a great sense of humor. He enjoys outdoors and traveling. They are all great qualities I appreciate in a guy.

He also said in his profile: “I try to always be considerate but I know I put my foot in my mouth sometimes.” Based on Fred’s foot fetish situation, I hesitated to contact him, but I did.

We both had interest in art (he majored art history in college) so for our first date, Henry and I went to a local art gallery then to a tapas restaurant. We had a great conversation and I definitely felt the connection. Well, at least I thought I did but after 3 dates, I received this email from Henry:

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This is a familiar experience after Luke, whom I also met on match.com, broke up with me via email. See blog from May 24, red hair + bad red wine = bad date

I didn’t respond to Henry’s email and obviously we didn’t speak after that… Until I ran into him at a bar with Sam (See mom > BF to read about Sam)  Turns out Sam and Henry are friends.

It’s always awkward to run into people who rejected you and I now have two of them standing front of me. I wanted to be courageous so I went up to both of them to say hi. Sam greeted me immediately. And as I was saying hello, Henry introduced himself to me with a hand shake like we are meeting for the very first time.

“Hi, I’m Henry.” 

“Yes. We met before.” I am still shaking his hand awkwardly and thought maybe he didn’t want to say hi front of Sam.

“Oh… how did we meet?” Henry asked me. 

“Um, it was a while ago.”

“Where did we meet? Did we meet through someone?” Henry still had no clue.

“Well, we met …. um…., we went out on dates before and you dumped me.”

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“I am going to shut up now.”

“Yes, you should.” Then I walked away abruptly.

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Oh, and every time I go on Facebook, Henry shows up on People You May Know.

I gave up match.com after Henry because I was unmatched with these thee guys: The coupon queen, Quiero el romance, & Ruuuuude. Hello Grindr! 

CrPuHVzT

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awkward first date 2

“I’m looking for a real relationship, a life partner, hopefully someone I will grow old with. I’m very sensitive, caring and passionate. I want to be able to hold my partner’s hand every time we walk. I also have a strong sex drive (I’m a bottom).”

I saw this profile on match.com about 5 years ago and contacted him immediately. His name is Fred, who is one year older than me, French guy who got tired of manhunt.com and decided to try match.com to find his match.

For our first date, he picked me up in his Corvette, which I wasn’t really into. He was definitely into how fast he could go. This was clear when he started to race with another car on a highway. It didn’t seem sensitive, caring or passionate as he described in his profile. I was glad that we arrived at our destination, still alive and intact.

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We went to a park near water which was more romantic atmosphere than in his Corvette. It was a warm sunny day and we got all comfy on the grass. He was comfortable enough to ask about how much money I made. Last week I wrote about 3 topics of avoid during a first date (see awkward first date). Job salary should be 4th.

At this point, Fred hasn’t made a good impression and I kept looking for a positive quality he described in his profile. One thing he was right about was a strong sex drive. He asked about my sexual interests and was very open about his foot fetish. I realize I am bit boring when it comes to sexuality, but It got even weirder when he asked me to show my feet out in public. He should have said “I want to be able to hold my partner’s foot every time we walk” in his match.com profile. That would have been more clear description.

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Despite my rule of giving everyone second chance after first date, Fred was disqualified from that rule.

the coupon queen

I met Colin about 6 years ago on match.com. Colin is Italian, almost 10 years older than me, super tall, stocky build, with salt & pepper hair, goatee, blue eyes, big nose, and a cute smile. 

For our first date, we went to the movies, which he had tickets he had purchased as  discount tickets through his work. After the movie, he took me to Pizzeria Uno’s. We shared an app and a pie of pizza while discussing the movie. When the server brought the bill, he insisted that he pays. He pulls out a piece of paper, which was a Groupon deal for a free appetizer when you get a pizza pie. We also went out to get some ice cream, which he had a coupon for also.

anigif_mobile_d6556ce2227d7aaa1bad95d990b32bef-32 Yes, cost-of-living is definitely sky high and we all need to pinch-a-penny. I myself love couponing and there is nothing more gratifying to see the amount I saved on the CVS receipt. I just found it somewhat silly that Colin only did things for our dates based on savings. (BTW, see post from 05.10.2015 about coupon for a blow job)

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Regardless, I really liked him and we spent a lot of time together. He was really good in bed too and a good snuggler. We dated for several months and he asked for me to move in with him. At the time, I was not ready for a serious relationship and I was seeing two other guys at the same time. I broke up with him to explain that it would not be fair for me to date him if he was looking for something I was not ready for.  Besides, I don’t know if I have all that patience to clip coupons from Sunday papers to go grocery shopping. 

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red hair + bad red wine = bad date

About 7 years ago, I met Luke on match.com, a Jewish doctor. He is same age as me, about my height and weight, and has red hair. (Did I ever mention that I am a huge ginger fan?)

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For our first date, Luke made me the most romantic candlelight dinner at this place. As much as I enjoy drinking red wine, I have very little knowledge in different types of wine, what vineyards they come from, and what oaky, fruity, smoky, or dry tastes are like. I bought a bottle of red I picked from the liquor store because it had a cute label on it.

When I opened it, the cork crumbled into piece into the bottle (THE WORST!!) and it bad-winetasted like vinegar. Luckily he had another bottle. The dinner conversation was going great. We talked about wine of course, work, family, where we grew up, and other random topics relates to gay men.

We had sex afterwards. To be honest, I am probably not the most active participant during sex. I guess one would call me a lazy top. I personally enjoyed with Luke, but I wasn’t sure if he felt the same. I wish there is a swipe right or left to rate sexual performance. Can someone create an app for this?

Instead, Luke sent me an e-mail which reads….“I think you’re a nice guy, but I am not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. Sorry.”

I wanted to ask if it was because the sex was bad? Instead I replied: “Is it because the wine I brought was bad?”

He replied “yes, it was because of the wine. j/k”

Few years later, my new roommate at the time had a birthday party at a restaurant. And just take a wild guess who is close friend of my new roommate? Luke, the red head, who was sat next to me, drinking red wine. I see him on the street all the time and we also go to the same gym. My roommate told me he has a boyfriend now.

I should have brought vodka to the dinner date instead. Or I just have to be wilder during sex.

quiero el romance

About 5 years ago, I was on match.com to find a perfect match. On these profiles, people only describe best qualities and post best photos of themselves. This often may not be 100% accurate to their true self which I end up finding out in person. But, it is the only way to make an impression to get noticed. I, of course, had a description of myself in the utmost positive ways and posted pictures I looked good in, which includes a photo of me skydiving.

I received a message from Santiago, a Mexican-American who was same age as me. His profile described himself as a fun, loving, studious, and spiritual guy. Other qualities include generosity, kindness, light heartedness and a healthy lifestyle. And he was looking to meet guys for friendships and potentially dating.

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His message to me said: “I liked your profile. Neat skydiving pic! There is something about the idea of jumping out of an airplane that really appeals to me. I once went zip lining from top of a tall tree in Mexico and it was amazing. Anything that challenges my fear is appealing.”

When it comes to meeting someone online, I always meet for coffee or drinks for the first date. You don’t want to be stuck with a terrible date throughout the entire meal. Also, if coffee/cocktail date goes well, you have the option to go to a different place afterwards or have a follow up date. Also, for a second date, lunch or brunch is a safe option. It’s a shorter meal than dinner and can give you an easy escape option. Santiago and I met for coffee.

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He was tall, wore a pair of nerdy-sheik glasses that were so sexy on him.  He had a pale skin tone, appearing more white than Mexican. His Spanish accent was stronger than my coffee, which I find muy caliente!

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We had a great conversation and I suggested ice cream after coffee. While we were walking around to enjoying our ice cream cone, a heavy down pour rain storm came suddenly. We had no umbrella so we ran, seeking shelter. And by the time we got into a building, we were both drenched and our ice creams were completely ruined. I found it somewhat romantic but he seemed very displease. He ended our date abruptly.

For someone who finds an appeal from challenging fear, a little bit of getting soaked from summer rain should not be a major issue. Maybe he was upset that he didn’t get to finish his ice cream.

I never heard back from him after that.

Ruuuuude

This blog entry is just purely telling a story of a bad date and I will blog about other bad dates periodically.

I met Billy on match.com. He was in his late 30’s, Italian guy who is bald that makes him look sexy given his stocky built. We went to a swanky bar for drinks one night. His confidence can easily be mistaken for arrogance but oddly that attracted me even more. I agreed to go out on a second date and he took me to a fancy restaurant. We ordered a bottle of red wine and an appetizer cheese plate.

Fine dining experience includes the wine presentation by the server, which the server shows you the bottle then opening the bottle, pour, taste, approve, then pour again. I am so not into all that but I admit it does make me feel all classy.

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When the server was holding the bottle of the Cabernet we ordered and about to open, Billy abruptly says “you can open it and leave it.”  Judging by the server’s facial expression, she was shocked with his demand and I was also shocked, sharing her confusion. Billy poured the wine for me and then himself. I took several sips to suppress my discomfort after his strange behavior.

Few minutes later, the server brought the cheese plate and explained that they ran out few items so chef rearranged other available cheese for us. With sincere apology, she reassured that the cheese plate will be taken off the bill.

“So it’s free?” Billy asked.

“Yes, we will comp this from your check.”

“Then I don’t want it.”

200_sThis time, the server had a disgust on her facial expression and it made me want to hug her.

“I want it.” I told the server and began to eat them.

I told Billy that it was delicious and continued with the dinner conversation. As we went through the meal with the typical get-to-know-each-other questions about work, school, family, sports, hobbies, and etc. I began to develop more interest and found him more and more appealing despite his treatment towards the server.

Towards the end of the meal, table next to us, a straight couple who was just finished their appetizer, was greeted with their entree dishes from their server. One of them was a seafood dish.

“Well, that smells fishy.” Billy blurts out to them.

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I think I crawled under the table at that moment and it wasn’t to give him a BJ under the table.

After the dinner, he drove me home and he asked me if he talked too much during the dinner. He explained that he was nervous because it has been a long time since last time he went out a date. I wasn’t sure if he meant to ask if he was rude. I told him yes and started to make out with him in his car. Surprisingly, he was very gentle and almost held back. There were no follow up dates but I ran into him at a bar one night. He offered to buy me a drink and I asked him for a bottle of wine but only if the bartender opens it for me. He chuckled then ordered me a beer instead.