Exchange saliva, not phone numbers

Though going out to a club to dance all night is not my top preference, I enjoy it once in a while. Usually, I am dancing on my own.


But I met many boys, some of which I dated for a bit. Read about them here: ScottLiamStanGary, and Will 

One night at a club, while I was dancing on my own, I met  Seth, a cute white hipster’s boy with dorky glasses and ginger beard. Totally my type!! It happened really fast, but as soon as I started to dance with him, we were sucking faces.


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I want kink, not stink.

*Fair warning: if you’re having a meal right now, do not read this.*

Lately, there is a bunch of guys I flirt with via text messages yet and no one seems to show interest in spending face to face time. We all live in a go go speed and many feel relationships are too inconvenient to their personal agenda. Everyone is still recovering from pain and hurt from some degree of broken hearts and avoid  getting closer to people to prevent being wounded again. We become more isolated which leads to loneliness. And people make less than ideal choices to cure boredom from loneliness. You might have guessed that I was describing myself mostly.

About a year ago, I woke up early in the morning alone and bored (aka horny) and to cure boredom (and horniness), I got on Grindr to browse. I quickly received a message from “Jack” (we never exchanged names) who appeared good looking in the picture. It’s one of those “get to the point” message:


I accepted his offer to host. He probably is into anonymous style because he was waiting for me naked in his bedroom, which is out of my comfort zone. He got right “down” to business and I tried to enjoy it. But I was so distracted by an awful odor, almost like he had sex all night smell. It was combination of sweat, lube, and poop. Not sexy at all.


For someone who takes personal hygiene very seriously, it required a lot of efforts to finish quickly and get the fuck out of there. I pretty much ran home to take a 30 minute shower and scrubbed off my regret with loofah. I should have just played candy crush to cure my boredom. 

Ok, I really think NSA is a terrible experience. Here are few other stories about NSA sex: Should have been saved by the bell, Need to make a deposit, and Strings Attracted.

when hooks ups show up

Recently, I went to party and there were a bunch of other gaysians there, along with someone I had a one time thing from Grindr about 4 years ago. His name is Carl, who is in his 40’s and has his own consulting business.

We live pretty close by and Carl came over to my place on his way to get a hair cut on a Saturday afternoon. Carl literally has the hottest body I ever touched.


We did exchange phone numbers but we never saw each other until this party. So there I am at the party and Carl walks in with his boyfriend. We both looked at each other but eye contact was awkward as I didn’t know if he would recognize me.


He did come up to me and said “good to see you.” I sorta melted a little from his handshake.

Throughout the party, Carl and I had a good conversation. I also talked to his boyfriend (who is also a gaysian) whom I really enjoyed chatting with. Similar to Carl, he had an amazing body too. They have been together for 3 years but have known each other longer than that.

The very next day, Carl and his boyfriend invited me to dim sum. I was nervous at first, but surprisingly, I had a great time. In fact, it was really nice to see Carl fully clothed and getting to know him in more deeper level than this gorgeous body. Although I couldn’t stop staring at his biceps when he was reaching across the table for some sticky rice.


Would it be possible to become friends with Carl and his boyfriend? Does Carl’s boyfriend know about me? How do relationships go from a random NSA hook up to a friendship level?

Also turns out Carl is friends with Rob, someone I hooked up with after I hooked up with Carl. Read about Rob here: divorce equality too.