In the shallow, shallow.

In the shallow, shallow.

Last year, I was chatting with a guy on Grindr who had a shirtless profile photo and seemed pretty decent looking. Our conversation super shallow. It went something like“hi, how are you. Good and you? Good. That’s good….”


He didn’t put his age on his profile, but I believe he was in his 40’s. He had a bald head with blue eyes that were too small to be noticed.

We decided to meet for drinks on a Sunday evening at a neighborhood pub. I didn’t think it was a dinner date so when I arrived, I sat at the bar. However, he ordered a turkey sandwich AND a pumpkin pie, while I drank my apple cider (It was in November) and uncomfortably watch him eat a meal. I ain’t gonna lie, I wanted a piece of that….. the pumpkin pie I mean.


It got really bizarre when he stood up at the bar seat and had the bar stool pulled out so far, it was blocking people walking by, and he just stood there. He talked about his back pain and needing a massage. I think he was hinting for me to massage him like a power bottom with ass up in the air.


He also mentioned that he is a Reiki master and offered to do Reiki on me. It seemed too sleazy and I just wasn’t having it. I didn’t even order a third beer and as soon as he took the last bite of the pumpkin pie (without offering to me at all), I asked for the check and pretty much took off running with dust cloud behind me.


And of course, I see him at the gym all the time now. And judging by his work out routines, he didn’t seem like he was suffering from back pain.

You got blocked

About a year ago, I started chatting with Bobby on Grindr. He is same age as me, white, slightly shorter than me with a lean frame. He has dark feature that makes him look very euro-mediterranean-sexy. After some superficial chats, we decided to meet for drinks at a new restaurant that just opened. We had a good chemistry and conversations really went well. It was around the holidays and we both had no holiday spirits that made us even connect closer.

Bobby is a lawyer for a major financial firm and spoke highly about his work, making him seem slightly narcissistic. He particularly spoke a lot about his boss who is also a friend. In fact during the entire date, he and his friend-boss kept texting each other. He apologized for being rude while he was on his phone every few minutes. He reasoned that end of the year is typically busier and he often works up to 70 hours a week.

After 3 Moscow Mule drinks and him texting every five minutes, Bobby terminated our date to go to back to  the office, after receiving demands from his bossy friend-boss. This was about 10 o’clock on Friday night. I tried my best to not doubt, but I had a hard time trusting the whole situation.

Very next day, I saw him on Grindr and I sent him a message to say I had a great time. Then his profile rapidly disappeared. I GOT BLOCKED!!!


I was negatively judged based on one hour (minus 10 minutes of texting) of conversation and  was dismissed permanently. I then wondered if Bobby was really texting his a.k.a. boss during the date to be rescued out of a bad date. Charlotte and Carrie already did that! Click here for that clip:

If so, it is even more disappointing that Bobby, who is a confident, cocky, lawyer, had to pull a cheap move. You can simply tell the person “sorry, but I don’t think we’re looking for a same thing.” And whatever happened to “it’s not you, it’s me” line? There is definitely more respectful way to disconnect from a date.

Not only my suspicions about Bobby were validated, it also validated my negative attitude towards dating in general after all the bad dates I have gone out on. It’s when this happens, I have to constantly remind myself about all the guys I rejected. This is what dating is. It’s trying on different styles, fits, color, and size of pants until you find the pair that fits well.

Some things to be aware of when you’re Grindr’ing:

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