Another missed connections

About two years ago, I connected with a guy on Grindr. His name is Lucas, who was visiting from NYC. A handsome tall white silver fox kind of a guy with a physique that resembles an athlete who never works out at the gym.

We exchanged phone numbers and following text messages took place.
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That was it. For some reason, I lost interest, but I just Facebook stalked him. Turns out he’s pretty successful artist. Would it  be crazy if I friend requested him now?

Oh, gay cupid

I can confidently say I am not the only one who hates Valentine’s day. In my opinion, there is unrealistic pressure for a couple to show their love towards his/her partner by going out to the most expensive restaurant, buying chocolates, flowers and cards. It’s just too commercialized. I believe the best way to say I love you is through oral communication.. literally using words. See previous blogs about Valentine’s day: Fuck Valentine’s Day and St. Valentine vs. Buddha

About 5 years ago, I signed up for okcupid. As you might have read some of the dating stories, I had some good ones and some not so good ones. One of them was Frankie, whom I connected with around Valentine’s Day 2 years ago. Frankie is in his early 30’s, white, about my height with an attractive physique. He works in finance and had a charismatic confidence without arrogance. With the Valentine’s day crowd, it was impossible to go out to dinner. So we had coffee. We talked about his apple watch and all of his travels. Though he had very little questions about me, I felt good about our date and was feeling really reassured when text messages / sexting continued after the coffee date. I thought “finally, a cupid shot an arrow in me!”

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I felt even more reassured when we became Facebook friends. Then, I noticed many mutual friends, including Sam. Read about Sam here: mom > BF.  Turns out Frankie and Sam dated long time ago. It’s always awkward to have these close associations. Gay community is just a big web of incestuous relationships.

Frankie and I kept in touch but did not remeet for another year, again coffee date around Valentines day. While we were sipping on our cafe lattes, he whispered that he wasn’t wearing underwear at the time. He also wanted to show me his cock ring. It went from apple watch and travel to Europe to this? Suddenly, I had a funny vision in my head, me kneeling down front of Frankie, proposing on Valentines day, but with a cock ring. In reality, I think he was proposing to hook up in the bathroom and I had a very different expectations because we met on okcupid, not Grindr.

So after 5 years and no fucking cupid’s arrow anywhere, I made a decision to kill the fucking cupid! I deleted Tinder few weeks ago, I deleted Grindr last week, and now okcupid.. deleted!

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For the rest of the year, I am going to try something different by not relying on these cyberspace socialization. Although, sexting with Frankie will continue on. Perhaps I will hook up with him on Valentine’s day this year. 

How do you go from casual to serious?

It seems all the guys I have dated, hooked up with or ever been involved in any sort of way in the past, they resurface in my life somehow. Rule of thumb is to never burn bridges with people.

I run into Ted every so often at bars. Read about Ted here: give a little loveRecently saw him at the same bar in the story. We often have a brief “hello, how are you” conversation but having a full dialogue at this bar is impossible with all the drunk and horny gay men around.

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I want kink, not stink.

*Fair warning: if you’re having a meal right now, do not read this.*

Lately, there is a bunch of guys I flirt with via text messages yet and no one seems to show interest in spending face to face time. We all live in a go go speed and many feel relationships are too inconvenient to their personal agenda. Everyone is still recovering from pain and hurt from some degree of broken hearts and avoid  getting closer to people to prevent being wounded again. We become more isolated which leads to loneliness. And people make less than ideal choices to cure boredom from loneliness. You might have guessed that I was describing myself mostly.

About a year ago, I woke up early in the morning alone and bored (aka horny) and to cure boredom (and horniness), I got on Grindr to browse. I quickly received a message from “Jack” (we never exchanged names) who appeared good looking in the picture. It’s one of those “get to the point” message:

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I accepted his offer to host. He probably is into anonymous style because he was waiting for me naked in his bedroom, which is out of my comfort zone. He got right “down” to business and I tried to enjoy it. But I was so distracted by an awful odor, almost like he had sex all night smell. It was combination of sweat, lube, and poop. Not sexy at all.

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For someone who takes personal hygiene very seriously, it required a lot of efforts to finish quickly and get the fuck out of there. I pretty much ran home to take a 30 minute shower and scrubbed off my regret with loofah. I should have just played candy crush to cure my boredom. 

Ok, I really think NSA is a terrible experience. Here are few other stories about NSA sex: Should have been saved by the bell, Need to make a deposit, and Strings Attracted.

Be cool. Don’t be an asshole.

Almost 3 years ago, I was chatting with Peter on Grindr. Peter is 10 years younger than me, cute, tall, slender, with a bright smile that is so much bigger probably because of his dark complexion. Peter is Indian so that makes him a gaysian too. He just moved in town to start his medical residency. We met for drinks near his medical school.

Throughout the entire time, he was constantly talking about himself and didn’t ask much about me. I didn’t get any feeling that he had interest in getting to know me. At times, people try to impress someone for the first time by only focusing in their positives. Like online dating websites. We only post the best pictures of ourselves and only talk about positive aspects and achievements. Perhaps Peter was doing everything to impress me but something felt like it was not genuine. I tolerated his self indulgence over 3 drinks and went home.

Few weeks later, I saw him on OkCupid so I messaged him

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