Hide and Seek

Sam is a close friend of mine who has been there during crisis, literally he was there when I was dumped by Bryan. Read more about that here: on my ownAlso, Sam introduced me many guys, even if they were married. Read about Rob here: divorce equality too.

About 4 years ago, Sam wanted to set me up with his boyfriend’s friend, Hunter. So, Sam, Sam’s boyfriend, Hunter, Hunter’s friend, and I went to a bar for drinks one evening. Hunter is a white guy in his mid 30s’ who is a high school teacher. He is tall and slender, probably one of those people who are slim without making any effort. He also had a great smile. He had a face that seemed familiar like I met him before, but couldn’t really put my finger on. I found him incredibly kind and sweet. However, I didn’t find him physically attractive. I think I spent most of the evening talking to Hunter’s friend more than Hunter. Hunter and I exchanged phone numbers but we never connected after that evening. I told Sam that I wasn’t interested in Hunter, which is too bad because he really was a nice guy.

Earlier this week, I ran into Hunter at the gym.

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He shoots. He scores!

About 4 years ago, I met Malcolm on Grindr. He is a police officer who is in his early 40’s. He belongs to a gay basketball social group and they usually practices at a court near me. He came over to my place after his basketball practice one afternoon.


He is tall with a great physique (being a police officer and a basketball player). His photo was probably about 5 years ago or he aged very quickly since. Regardless, he was an attractive guy. He wore a basketball shorts, which is always so sexually appealing to me. Maybe it’s the peek-a-boo’sh bulge. He was also slightly dampy-sweaty and it was gross-sexy.

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Fuck Valentine’s Day!

Few years ago, I met Steven on OkCupid and we went on a Valentine’s date. He is in his early 30’s, white guy from the south, who had just moved in to be closer to his brother, who is also gay. Steven had a cute southern accent that I associate with a charming gentleman but he is hardly gentle. During dinner, he mostly complained about people in general. I would describe him as somewhat bitchy, loud, flamboyant…. someone who likes to throw shade.


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Sorry, I am not into Asians

I was on Grindr last night and saw this:


I live in a relatively big metropolitan city with diversity so big, I think sometimes white people may feel like they are the minorities. I have only heard about these Grindr profiles so to see it bluntly out there was bit surprising for me. Many of my gaysian friends get so mad when they see it. Some call it sexual racist. Click here: Sticky Situations to read the story I wrote about sexual racism.

While there are people who are not into Asians, there are many guys who are ONLY into Asians, as you know, we call them rice queens. One of my rice queen friends, Harry, who is a white guy married to a gaysian guy explained his point of view. Harry has dated all races and he is attracted to Asians the most not because of physical attributes, but for the calm manners and submissive demeanor. So what about an Asian who is very loud and has a dominant personality?


From my own dating experience, what I have found is that most rice queens want an authentic Asians, FOTB (fresh off the boat) type. These rice queens usually wear buddhist bead necklaces, eat dim sum every Sundays, only drink Chinese herbal tea, travel to Thailand or Vietnam every summer, or practice some sort of martial art.

Many years ago, I hooked up with Adam, who is in his late 40’s, an Asian antique collector. TOTAL rice queen. When I went to his apartment, it was full of tacky Asian furniture, pottery, and decorations. It reminded me of Chris. (Read about Chris here: Stranger Danger). 

He also lived with a roommate who is an Asian and a chef. I think only reason Adam lived with him was to have Asian meals every day. Sex with Adam was mediocre. I think I was mostly distracted by the big Asian gangster tattoo on his back. It was like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.


I am not a controlling dominant personality, but I don’t view myself as someone with a meek character. Perhaps, I don’t like the white guys who are ONLY into Asians. I am racist rice queens. I am definitely more attracted to people in general who are genuinely open to all. Maybe I should change my Grindr profile to say, “sorry I am not into rice queens.”