Just before I deleted Chappy and Tinder in earlier this year, I matched with a cute boy named Olafur on Tinder. He is 25 years old from Iceland. He is a college student majoring in music. Coincidentally one of my favorite musician is Olafur Arnald who is also Icelandic.
Olafur, the college student, not the professional musician, was cute and it seemed like we had common interest. But I was worried, based on multiple negative experiences with some of millennials I went (or tried to go out) with.
Read about Patrick: Why did the cock cross the road? and Mac: Tidying up AF. Both of these a-holes resulted in dating app deletions.
Olafur and I decided to meet for coffee on a Saturday afternoon. I had many errands to run that day and I even rescheduled another potential date to meet Olafur. As I was panicking for running late to the coffee date, I texted him to apologize that I was running few minutes behind.
Just before I deleted the dating app, Chappy, in earlier this year, I matched with a guy named, Franklin. He is a 38-year-old white guy, who seems like a wholesome dude from mid-west. We exchanged phone numbers and texted for a few days. Then between my travel and being stood up by Mac, I deleted Chappy and lost touch with Franklin. Read about Mac here: Tidying Up AF.
Few weeks later, Franklin texted to apologize for ghosting. We made plans to have dinner. I don’t know if this happens to other people, but I tend to run into people I know while I am on a date. So I picked a place that a far from a gay venue, an Irish pub. And I accidentally scheduled it on Valentine’s day.
On the day of our dinner date, there was a snowstorm and I was worried he was going to cancel. But he showed up.
Throughout the month of June, all of my LGBTQ brothers and sisters are out marching and celebrating our freedom since the Stonewall riot 50 years ago in NYC. All of gays are out waving their rainbow flags and love is love t-shirts and of course I cannot celebrate the pride month without running into all of my the guys I have been out with.
I ran into Keegan and Marshall. (Read Singled-Out about them). As I was talking to them, I saw the reiki guy too. Apparently, they are friends.
It’s always awkward to run into your exes, people you hooked up with or bad dates. But most importantly, it is always great to run into all your closest friends and others celebrating pride.
In the shallow, shallow.
Last year, I was chatting with a guy on Grindr who had a shirtless profile photo and seemed pretty decent looking. Our conversation super shallow. It went something like“hi, how are you. Good and you? Good. That’s good….”
He didn’t put his age on his profile, but I believe he was in his 40’s. He had a bald head with blue eyes that were too small to be noticed.
We decided to meet for drinks on a Sunday evening at a neighborhood pub. I didn’t think it was a dinner date so when I arrived, I sat at the bar. However, he ordered a turkey sandwich AND a pumpkin pie, while I drank my apple cider (It was in November) and uncomfortably watch him eat a meal. I ain’t gonna lie, I wanted a piece of that….. the pumpkin pie I mean.
It got really bizarre when he stood up at the bar seat and had the bar stool pulled out so far, it was blocking people walking by, and he just stood there. He talked about his back pain and needing a massage. I think he was hinting for me to massage him like a power bottom with ass up in the air.
He also mentioned that he is a Reiki master and offered to do Reiki on me. It seemed too sleazy and I just wasn’t having it. I didn’t even order a third beer and as soon as he took the last bite of the pumpkin pie (without offering to me at all), I asked for the check and pretty much took off running with dust cloud behind me.
And of course, I see him at the gym all the time now. And judging by his work out routines, he didn’t seem like he was suffering from back pain.
On Halloween night of last year, to prevent overeating Halloween candy, I got on Tinder and madly swiped for hours. I saw a profile photo of a cute guy with blue eyes and a warm smile. Immediately, I swiped right then I heard that “broop-bing” match the sound. You all know that sound that makes your endorphins going like a Pavlov’s dog.
Compared to 400 other matches, Doug and I actually chatted, which lead to the next level of swapping phone numbers, and even went far as meeting up for coffee.
I have been on a dating app called Chappy for a few years. It’s another dating app that is similar to Tinder, swiping right when the photo sparks joy.
What I like most about Chappy is it’s only for gays and mostly into looking for a relationship rather than just “fun” like Grindr.
There have been many matches on Chappy for me and some that are actually responding to my messages. But, for most, it’s radio silence when I message them.
We live in a time period which stories of bad guys doing bad things are constantly on the news. This creates “see something and say something” atmosphere and we are constantly on high alert. But it often causes more of an irrational fear for the society to sniff out bad guys and miss out opportunities of good guys.
This applies to my dating world. When these experiences happen over and over again, I tend to develop a high alert to protect myself. One incident was when I thought I was video taped during some adult activities without my consent. Read Stranger Danger
All day, every day, we encounter people who are strangers to us and trying to develop trusting relationships with people can be difficulty after these victimizing experiences. While I hope good things happen to me in my life, when it actually does, I get skeptical. And when things seem too good to be true, it actually is too good to be true.
About few months ago, I got a “tap” from Nathan on Grindr. He’s 27 with a clear face picture on his profile. I started to chat with him and he responded back fairly quickly. He even sent me more photos of his cute face. Though I was impressed that I can get cute guys too, one thought I had was ‘hot guys like him never massages me.’ We chatted for a bit and talked about meeting up. Then, he mentioned about getting assaulted in the past by someone he met on Grindr. He even sent me photos of his bruised legs. To make sure he can trust me and I don’t gay bash him or something, he asked me sign up for an online registration program by donating $2.