Too good to be true

We live in a time period which stories of bad guys doing bad things are constantly on the news. This creates “see something and say something” atmosphere and we are constantly on high alert.  But it often causes more of an irrational fear for the society to sniff out bad guys and miss out opportunities of good guys.

This applies to my dating world. When these experiences happen over and over again, I tend to develop a high alert to protect myself. One incident was when I thought I was video taped during some adult activities without my consent.  Read Stranger Danger

All day, every day, we encounter people who are strangers to us and trying to develop trusting relationships with people can be difficulty after these victimizing experiences. While I hope good things happen to me in my life, when it actually does, I get skeptical. And when things seem too good to be true, it actually is too good to be true.

About few months ago, I got a “tap” from Nathan on Grindr. He’s 27 with a clear face picture on his profile. I started to chat with him and he responded back fairly quickly. He even sent me more photos of his cute face. Though I was impressed that I can get cute guys too, one thought I had was ‘hot guys like him never massages me.’ We chatted for a bit and talked about meeting up. Then, he mentioned about getting assaulted in the past by someone he met on Grindr. He even sent me photos of his bruised legs. To make sure he can trust me and I don’t gay bash him or something, he asked me sign up for an online registration program by donating $2.

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Singled out

About 4 years ago, I started chatting with Keegan on Grindr. He’s a cute white guy who is same age as me. It was pretty flirty and he sent me some dick pics voluntarily, which I did actually enjoy receiving. We sexted for months then lost touch.

Few months ago, I was at a gay bar. An Asian guy and a white guy walked in (sounds like a start of a cheesy joke) and sat right next to me. They were both cute and I started chatting with them. Turns out they live in my neighborhood and they are NOT a couple. But white guy, Marshall, is married. They are friends who have been organizing an open studios event for neighborhood local artists and invited to Marshall’s husband’s art showing next month.

So I show up to this event last month and there was Marshall and his artist husband, Keegan. They, along with rest of the gay couples all over, are in an open relationship.

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It is so rare that I randomly talk to cute guys at a bar but when I do, I constantly pick someone who is already in a relationship and I am getting irritated that I am not even in one to consider being open. When I am on the dating apps, at least half of the profiles are “married” and “open relationships.” And the singles are only looking for NSA hook-ups.

Am I a singled-out-single looking for another single guy to date? All the single ladies, put your hands up!

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Connect to internet to be more disconnected from people

I just watched a movie called Her. It’s a romantic sci-fi drama film, written, directed, and produced by Spike Jonze. The main character, Theodore, develops a relationship with Samantha, an artificial intelligence through an operating system. He then loses interest when a mysterious existence became too much of a reality. Plus he was getting jealous of Samantha “seeing” other users. Love does make you do crazy things.

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It is a bizarre story, yet it resonated with me, particularly with advancing technology for people to connect these days. For me, it started with AOL back around year 2000. Read the story about meeting Chris on AOL here: Fumbling towards Ecstasy.

Almost 20 years after Y2K threat, technology has advanced to instant message capabilities on a small little cellular phone that also has a system that follows your verbal instructions. Call me paranoid, but I think Siri listens to all my conversations and pulls ads on my social media feeds. But, I don’t want to contradict as I write my entire personal life stories on this blog for world to see.

Grindr, Scruff, Jack’d, Surge, Hornet, Chappy, Tinder, etc. are the now AOL, which allows you to instantly connect with other app users for dates, hook ups, and maybe even fall in love with an actual person, not an artificial intelligence that bitch Samantha.

Back in 2016, I chatted with this cute guy on Grindr. His name was Shaun, who was in his early 30’s white guy who worked in a local government office. We had a typical superficial chats with unsolicited dick pics from him. Then I decided to give him my number. He texted me and it got no where.

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Double dip and now empty dip

Earlier this year, I was seeing a guy named, Martin, I met on Tinder. Read about Martin here: He has risen! Around the same time I met him, I matched with another guy on Tinder.

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His is name is Brady, a white guy around same age as Martin. Brady is a professor who is on a leave for a year to write and do some consulting work. While we were messaging each other, he accidentally sent me a heart, an emotion message feature on Tinder. I got very excited to see this. Then he quickly rescinded the heart with “don’t be frightened! It was an error! I don’t just send around hearts! I obvi didn’t know how this thing works.”

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Despite this mis-hap on the app, we decided to meet for drinks at a wine bar. We ordered a bottle of white wine and some delicious appetizers like artichoke & bean dip. We both double dipped the dip with the delicious bread.

We had great conversations about work, travel, family and his new dog. I thought the date went really well and he even drove me home, which ended with a passionate kiss in the car as he was dropping me off. What a classic date night. Continue reading

Gays against guns

June was not only pride month, but it’s also a gun violence awareness month. According to Gun Violence Archive, there has been 28,723 incidents, 7,163 deaths, 13,582 injuries thus far in 2018. And there has been 155 mass shootings in 2018 so far, which Stoneman Douglas high school in Parkland, Florida was the largest after 17 lives were lost on Valentine’s day.

And how can we forget about shooting at Pulse in Orlando in June 2016, which I wrote about in my blog. Read here: https://gaysiandating.wordpress.com/2016/06/12/1133/

Even worse tragic shooting happened on October 1, 2017 in Las Vegas when a gunman fired on the audience at a concert using automatic rifles, which resulted 58 deaths and 851 injured. Gunman also died from self-inflicted gun shot wound and his motive is still unknown.

Around the time of Las Vegas tragedy, I met Simon on Tinder. He’s in his late 30’s, white guy who just moved in town as he travels for work in the US military. There is something so sexy about men in uniform and I definitely found him sexy.

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True colors are beautiful like a rainbow

June is the official Pride month and many cities throughout the world is celebrating diversity. Whether you’re, L, G, B, T, T, Q, Q, I, A, A, P, # or whatever letters or alpha numeric characters you’re, people come together to make the world little bit better to counter the constant social media posts and videos of feuds stemming from bigotry. It will be 50 years next year since the Stonewall riot, which gays in Greenwich Village of NYC sparked a movement of gay rights.

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Thanks to those gays 50 years ago, a path was created that we are in now. Without them, none of the letters of LGBTTQQIAAP, will exist.

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Glad to meet a Brit Lad

Did anyone watch the Royal Wedding? I watched some parts of it and just melted when I saw Prince Harry’s face.

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Also, there is something so magical about Britain. For my 40th birthday, I gave myself a gift of a trip to London few weekends ago. It was my very first time going to Europe so I was excited and nervous. I went by myself. I find it very liberating and enlightening to travel alone. It gives me a sense of confidence to put myself way out of my comfort zone, literally so far from home. London seems like an easy way to dip my toes in Europe because they speak English. I navigated the streets and the “tube” systems really well and did all the typical tourist stuff, like hop-on-off bus tours, museums and changes of guards at the Buckingham Palace.

I also went out to several gay bars in Soho. There were so many hot diverse guys, including many gaysians. I talked to several guys and I found them all very friendly. One guy, Evan, is in his mid-40’s, an accountant, who lives in the city. He welcomed me to UK properly. By the way, why does everyone who speaks with a British accent sound so intelligent, pleasant and proper? I even encountered a junkie in the “dodgy” area of London and when he said “please sir, I really need help” it just sounded so kind and generous.

As I swooned over Evan’s British accent, he also taught me several vocabularies. One word I learned was pants. Apparently, they call underwear pants. I was initially confused when he told me about his pants fetish and after his explanation, I was less confused.

Evan invited me to his “flat” and I simply could not resist his offer when spoken in British accent. His place was incredibly modern, like an IKEA catalog. He offered me a drink, again, so proper with an impeccable manner.

After a brief (pun intended) discussion about his pants fetish, we had sex. It was probably the best sex in many years. After sex, we cuddled, talked for a little, then had sex again.

It’s not exactly Prince Harry and Meghan Markle love story but it was a marvelous time. I kept in touch with Evan since and hopefully we can connect again.

Also read Strings Attached and One String Attached about another British guy I hooked up with.