Too good to be true

We live in a time period which stories of bad guys doing bad things are constantly on the news. This creates “see something and say something” atmosphere and we are constantly on high alert.  But it often causes more of an irrational fear for the society to sniff out bad guys and miss out opportunities of good guys.

This applies to my dating world. When these experiences happen over and over again, I tend to develop a high alert to protect myself. One incident was when I thought I was video taped during some adult activities without my consent.  Read Stranger Danger

All day, every day, we encounter people who are strangers to us and trying to develop trusting relationships with people can be difficulty after these victimizing experiences. While I hope good things happen to me in my life, when it actually does, I get skeptical. And when things seem too good to be true, it actually is too good to be true.

About few months ago, I got a “tap” from Nathan on Grindr. He’s 27 with a clear face picture on his profile. I started to chat with him and he responded back fairly quickly. He even sent me more photos of his cute face. Though I was impressed that I can get cute guys too, one thought I had was ‘hot guys like him never massages me.’ We chatted for a bit and talked about meeting up. Then, he mentioned about getting assaulted in the past by someone he met on Grindr. He even sent me photos of his bruised legs. To make sure he can trust me and I don’t gay bash him or something, he asked me sign up for an online registration program by donating $2.

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Singled out

About 4 years ago, I started chatting with Keegan on Grindr. He’s a cute white guy who is same age as me. It was pretty flirty and he sent me some dick pics voluntarily, which I did actually enjoy receiving. We sexted for months then lost touch.

Few months ago, I was at a gay bar. An Asian guy and a white guy walked in (sounds like a start of a cheesy joke) and sat right next to me. They were both cute and I started chatting with them. Turns out they live in my neighborhood and they are NOT a couple. But white guy, Marshall, is married. They are friends who have been organizing an open studios event for neighborhood local artists and invited to Marshall’s husband’s art showing next month.

So I show up to this event last month and there was Marshall and his artist husband, Keegan. They, along with rest of the gay couples all over, are in an open relationship.

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It is so rare that I randomly talk to cute guys at a bar but when I do, I constantly pick someone who is already in a relationship and I am getting irritated that I am not even in one to consider being open. When I am on the dating apps, at least half of the profiles are “married” and “open relationships.” And the singles are only looking for NSA hook-ups.

Am I a singled-out-single looking for another single guy to date? All the single ladies, put your hands up!

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Connect to internet to be more disconnected from people

I just watched a movie called Her. It’s a romantic sci-fi drama film, written, directed, and produced by Spike Jonze. The main character, Theodore, develops a relationship with Samantha, an artificial intelligence through an operating system. He then loses interest when a mysterious existence became too much of a reality. Plus he was getting jealous of Samantha “seeing” other users. Love does make you do crazy things.

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It is a bizarre story, yet it resonated with me, particularly with advancing technology for people to connect these days. For me, it started with AOL back around year 2000. Read the story about meeting Chris on AOL here: Fumbling towards Ecstasy.

Almost 20 years after Y2K threat, technology has advanced to instant message capabilities on a small little cellular phone that also has a system that follows your verbal instructions. Call me paranoid, but I think Siri listens to all my conversations and pulls ads on my social media feeds. But, I don’t want to contradict as I write my entire personal life stories on this blog for world to see.

Grindr, Scruff, Jack’d, Surge, Hornet, Chappy, Tinder, etc. are the now AOL, which allows you to instantly connect with other app users for dates, hook ups, and maybe even fall in love with an actual person, not an artificial intelligence that bitch Samantha.

Back in 2016, I chatted with this cute guy on Grindr. His name was Shaun, who was in his early 30’s white guy who worked in a local government office. We had a typical superficial chats with unsolicited dick pics from him. Then I decided to give him my number. He texted me and it got no where.

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Double dip and now empty dip

Earlier this year, I was seeing a guy named, Martin, I met on Tinder. Read about Martin here: He has risen! Around the same time I met him, I matched with another guy on Tinder.

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His is name is Brady, a white guy around same age as Martin. Brady is a professor who is on a leave for a year to write and do some consulting work. While we were messaging each other, he accidentally sent me a heart, an emotion message feature on Tinder. I got very excited to see this. Then he quickly rescinded the heart with “don’t be frightened! It was an error! I don’t just send around hearts! I obvi didn’t know how this thing works.”

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Despite this mis-hap on the app, we decided to meet for drinks at a wine bar. We ordered a bottle of white wine and some delicious appetizers like artichoke & bean dip. We both double dipped the dip with the delicious bread.

We had great conversations about work, travel, family and his new dog. I thought the date went really well and he even drove me home, which ended with a passionate kiss in the car as he was dropping me off. What a classic date night. Continue reading

Gays against guns

June was not only pride month, but it’s also a gun violence awareness month. According to Gun Violence Archive, there has been 28,723 incidents, 7,163 deaths, 13,582 injuries thus far in 2018. And there has been 155 mass shootings in 2018 so far, which Stoneman Douglas high school in Parkland, Florida was the largest after 17 lives were lost on Valentine’s day.

And how can we forget about shooting at Pulse in Orlando in June 2016, which I wrote about in my blog. Read here: https://gaysiandating.wordpress.com/2016/06/12/1133/

Even worse tragic shooting happened on October 1, 2017 in Las Vegas when a gunman fired on the audience at a concert using automatic rifles, which resulted 58 deaths and 851 injured. Gunman also died from self-inflicted gun shot wound and his motive is still unknown.

Around the time of Las Vegas tragedy, I met Simon on Tinder. He’s in his late 30’s, white guy who just moved in town as he travels for work in the US military. There is something so sexy about men in uniform and I definitely found him sexy.

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He has risen!

It’s Easter Sunday. Religiously, it’s a day to remember Jesus, son of God, who sacrificely died and resurrected. The spirit of the holiday is about new rebirth and new beginning. Now days, most people are spending Easter holiday with family, going to church, dying eggs that Easter bunny hid in the bushes, eating bunny or egg shaped chocolates and of course those nasty peeps. For me, I will be having gayest brunch to celebrate Jesus’s second birthday as well as my upcoming big 40.

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As I check off the next age group category, I reflected to the times I had my soul resurrected. I had the most interesting “re-awakened” experience after participating an ayahuasca ceremony in Peru last summer. Ayahuasca is a tea made from two different trees from amazon jungle and used to heal illnesses through connection with nature and spirit. To simply put, you fucking hallucinate. I’ve only heard about and seen it on Chelsea does… documentary series on Netflix.

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Straight AF

Two years ago, I wrote a blog about 10 dating principles as part of new year’s goal. As I review this, I have deviated from some of these values at times. Very first one is he must be single! That means not married (even if separated) or have a boyfriend or any other serious committed long term relationships. Apparently, I can’t even stick to rule # 1 because I constantly encounter guys who are not single.

One of them was Wade, whom, oddly, I connected with on OkCupid. He didn’t have face photos (just body parts obviously) but his profile intrigued me. He is 35, white guy, who is into outdoor activities and beer. I clicked on “like” and OkCupid let me know we were a match. I messaged him first then we used Snapchat to…. you know, snap and chat.

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