Bored AF

Few weeks ago, my iPhone just stopped working for absolutely no reason. Despite multiple trouble shooting strategies like power cycle, download the new iOS, and calling it some names that starts with F and S, nothing worked. I was going to take it to the Apple store, which required me to make an appointment and the first available was not until the next day. For the next 24 hours, I had no LTE or data to use apps like Uber, Lyft, Spotify or any social medias to feed on. I felt completely lost and disconnected from the world.

I don’t think I am the only one who believes Apple purposely programs the iPhones to stop working around the time when the new iPhone comes out. Of course, this does not stop me from buying a new one and I pre-ordered the iPhone 11. 

It almost feels impossible to navigate this world now without a smart phone. It’s also a tool to socialize even if we’re in presence of each other. Last weekend, I was at a party and at one point there are about 4-5 small groups of 2-3 people with one cell phone out showing either photos, Facebook pages, or website of some sort to talk about. 

We are constantly bombarded with feeds, alerts, and notifications on our cell phones. Even this blog post might be coming up on your feeds, alerts, and notifications. We are so addicted to the instant gratification to scratch our boredom itch. It’s not unusual to watch TV while scrolling through social media feeds.

I went out with a guy earlier this year with a guy named Felix. He is a white dude in his late 40’s. He is a writer and wears a pair of nerdy glasses. We went to a bar and had a beer, which only took about 30 minutes. I was so bored while he was talking about a camping trip with his 2 sons. I am not into camping at all and children are so annoying. Felix and I had nothing in common and the whole time I kept wanting to take out my phone, perhaps to order a ride home. 

Why is that we’re so uncomfortable with boredom? Have we all developed ADD? Is this why Adderall abuse is happening? 

I never heard back from Felix. Maybe he was also bored with me.

This is a boring blog post.

hommi Asískir stefnumótum

Just before I deleted Chappy and Tinder in earlier this year, I matched with a cute boy named Olafur on Tinder. He is 25 years old from Iceland. He is a college student majoring in music. Coincidentally one of my favorite musician is Olafur Arnald who is also Icelandic.

Olafur, the college student, not the professional musician, was cute and it seemed like we had common interest. But I was worried, based on multiple negative experiences with some of millennials I went (or tried to go out) with.

Read about Patrick: Why did the cock cross the road? and Mac: Tidying up AF. Both of these a-holes resulted in dating app deletions.

Olafur and I decided to meet for coffee on a Saturday afternoon. I had many errands to run that day and I even rescheduled another potential date to meet Olafur. As I was panicking for running late to the coffee date, I texted him to apologize that I was running few minutes behind.

I seek a geek.

Just before I deleted the dating app, Chappy, in earlier this year, I matched with a guy named, Franklin. He is a 38-year-old white guy, who seems like a wholesome dude from mid-west. We exchanged phone numbers and texted for a few days. Then between my travel and being stood up by Mac, I deleted Chappy and lost touch with Franklin. Read about Mac here: Tidying Up AF.

Few weeks later, Franklin texted to apologize for ghosting. We made plans to have dinner. I don’t know if this happens to other people, but I tend to run into people I know while I am on a date. So I picked a place that a far from a gay venue, an Irish pub. And I accidentally scheduled it on Valentine’s day.

On the day of our dinner date, there was a snowstorm and I was worried he was going to cancel.  But he showed up.

Small gay world!

Throughout the month of June, all of my LGBTQ brothers and sisters are out marching and celebrating our freedom since the Stonewall riot 50 years ago in NYC. All of gays are out waving their rainbow flags and love is love t-shirts and of course I cannot celebrate the pride month without running into all of my the guys I have been out with. 

I ran into Keegan and Marshall. (Read Singled-Out about them). As I was talking to them, I saw the reiki guy too. Apparently, they are friends.

It’s always awkward to run into your exes, people you hooked up with or bad dates. But most importantly, it is always great to run into all your closest friends and others celebrating pride.

In the shallow, shallow.

In the shallow, shallow.

Last year, I was chatting with a guy on Grindr who had a shirtless profile photo and seemed pretty decent looking. Our conversation super shallow. It went something like“hi, how are you. Good and you? Good. That’s good….”

He didn’t put his age on his profile, but I believe he was in his 40’s. He had a bald head with blue eyes that were too small to be noticed.

We decided to meet for drinks on a Sunday evening at a neighborhood pub. I didn’t think it was a dinner date so when I arrived, I sat at the bar. However, he ordered a turkey sandwich AND a pumpkin pie, while I drank my apple cider (It was in November) and uncomfortably watch him eat a meal. I ain’t gonna lie, I wanted a piece of that….. the pumpkin pie I mean.

It got really bizarre when he stood up at the bar seat and had the bar stool pulled out so far, it was blocking people walking by, and he just stood there. He talked about his back pain and needing a massage. I think he was hinting for me to massage him like a power bottom with ass up in the air.

He also mentioned that he is a Reiki master and offered to do Reiki on me. It seemed too sleazy and I just wasn’t having it. I didn’t even order a third beer and as soon as he took the last bite of the pumpkin pie (without offering to me at all), I asked for the check and pretty much took off running with dust cloud behind me.

And of course, I see him at the gym all the time now. And judging by his work out routines, he didn’t seem like he was suffering from back pain.

Playing Tinder Crush Saga

On Halloween night of last year, to prevent overeating Halloween candy, I got on Tinder and madly swiped for hours. I saw a profile photo of a cute guy with blue eyes and a warm smile. Immediately, I swiped right then I heard that “broop-bing” match the sound. You all know that sound that makes your endorphins going like a Pavlov’s dog.

Compared to 400 other matches, Doug and I actually chatted, which lead to the next level of swapping phone numbers, and even went far as meeting up for coffee.

Tidyng up AF

I have been on a dating app called Chappy for a few years. It’s another dating app that is similar to Tinder, swiping right when the photo sparks joy. 

What I like most about Chappy is it’s only for gays and mostly into looking for a relationship rather than just “fun” like Grindr.

There have been many matches on Chappy for me and some that are actually responding to my messages. But, for most, it’s radio silence when I message them.

Too good to be true

We live in a time period which stories of bad guys doing bad things are constantly on the news. This creates “see something and say something” atmosphere and we are constantly on high alert.  But it often causes more of an irrational fear for the society to sniff out bad guys and miss out opportunities of good guys.

This applies to my dating world. When these experiences happen over and over again, I tend to develop a high alert to protect myself. One incident was when I thought I was video taped during some adult activities without my consent.  Read Stranger Danger

All day, every day, we encounter people who are strangers to us and trying to develop trusting relationships with people can be difficulty after these victimizing experiences. While I hope good things happen to me in my life, when it actually does, I get skeptical. And when things seem too good to be true, it actually is too good to be true.

About few months ago, I got a “tap” from Nathan on Grindr. He’s 27 with a clear face picture on his profile. I started to chat with him and he responded back fairly quickly. He even sent me more photos of his cute face. Though I was impressed that I can get cute guys too, one thought I had was ‘hot guys like him never massages me.’ We chatted for a bit and talked about meeting up. Then, he mentioned about getting assaulted in the past by someone he met on Grindr. He even sent me photos of his bruised legs. To make sure he can trust me and I don’t gay bash him or something, he asked me sign up for an online registration program by donating $2.

Singled out

About 4 years ago, I started chatting with Keegan on Grindr. He’s a cute white guy who is same age as me. It was pretty flirty and he sent me some dick pics voluntarily, which I did actually enjoy receiving. We sexted for months then lost touch.

A few months ago, I was at a gay bar. An Asian guy and a white guy walked in (sounds like a start of a cheesy joke) and sat right next to me. They were both cute and I started chatting with them. Turns out they live in my neighborhood and they are NOT a couple. But the white guy, Marshall, is married. They are friends who have been organizing an open studios event for neighborhood local artists and invited to Marshall’s husband’s art showing next month.

So I show up to this event last month and there was Marshall and his artist husband, Keegan. They, along with the rest of the gay couples everywhere, are in an open relationship.

It is so rare that I randomly talk to cute guys at a bar but when I do, I constantly pick someone who is already in a relationship and I am getting irritated that I am not even in one to consider being open. When I am on dating apps, at least half of the profiles are “married” and “open relationships.” And the singles are only looking for NSA hookups.

Am I a singled-out-single looking for another single guy to date? All the single ladies, put your hands up!

Connect to internet to be more disconnected from people

I just watched a movie called Her. It’s a romantic sci-fi drama film, written, directed, and produced by Spike Jonze. The main character, Theodore, develops a relationship with Samantha, an artificial intelligence through an operating system. He then loses interest when a mysterious existence became too much of a reality. Plus he was getting jealous of Samantha “seeing” other users. Love does make you do crazy things.

It is a bizarre story, yet it resonated with me, particularly with advancing technology for people to connect these days. For me, it started with AOL back around year 2000. Read the story about meeting Chris on AOL here: Fumbling towards Ecstasy.

Almost 20 years after Y2K threat, technology has advanced to instant message capabilities on a small little cellular phone that also has a system that follows your verbal instructions. Call me paranoid, but I think Siri listens to all my conversations and pulls ads on my social media feeds. But, I don’t want to contradict as I write my entire personal life stories on this blog for world to see.

Grindr, Scruff, Jack’d, Surge, Hornet, Chappy, Tinder, etc. are the now AOL, which allows you to instantly connect with other app users for dates, hook ups, and maybe even fall in love with an actual person, not an artificial intelligence that bitch Samantha.

Back in 2016, I chatted with this cute guy on Grindr. His name was Shaun, who was in his early 30’s white guy who worked in a local government office. We had a typical superficial chats with unsolicited dick pics from him. Then I decided to give him my number. He texted me and it got no where.