Two years ago, I wrote a blog about 10 dating principles as part of new year’s goal. As I review this, I have deviated from some of these values at times. Very first one is he must be single! That means not married (even if separated) or have a boyfriend or any other serious committed long term relationships. Apparently, I can’t even stick to rule # 1 because I constantly encounter guys who are not single.
One of them was Wade, whom, oddly, I connected with on OkCupid. He didn’t have face photos (just body parts obviously) but his profile intrigued me. He is 35, white guy, who is into outdoor activities and beer. I clicked on “like” and OkCupid let me know we were a match. I messaged him first then we used Snapchat to…. you know, snap and chat.
Few weeks ago, I wrote about Carson, whom I ran into while I was gaycationing in Provincetown. Overall, it was a great trip with close friends and met new friends from all over. One of them is Owen, a 40 year old white guy from Tennessee. He is much taller than me with an athletic physique – he loves sports. Owen spoke in a sexy southern accent that made my heart melt a little and he really seems like a southern gentleman.
It was late fall of last year. Carson and I both swiped right on Tinder. He is in his mid 40’s, bald, white guy with beautiful smile with dimples that is more of a crease on cheeks instead of a dot. It didn’t take long chats for us to arrange a date. There was an open artist studio festival in upcoming weekend so we decided to go get cultured.
First, we met up at a cafe for a quick breakfast sandwich and coffees to go in a paperclip. Oddly, I like drinking coffee out of a paper cup with Java sleeve instead of a ceramic mug. It makes me feel like I am a hipster.
Yesterday morning, I went to spin class and as soon I walked in to the locker room, I saw Baylor half naked and I tried my best to not do this:
I connected with Baylor about 3 years ago on Grindr. He is same age as me, white, sexy-bald head, short-stocky, physically fit type of a guy who can easily be mistaken for a bear. It started with a typical Grindr chat which included photo sharing. We also shared phone numbers and texted about sewing, which was a 180 turn from the chat we had on Grindr.
Wait, did he just say his boyfriend?!? He just slipped in there between fabric shopping and gayness of sewing. This was surprising yet not, given my track record of being only attracted to unavailable men. Regardless, we continued to flirt.
After the spin class yesterday, he invited me over to his place and we hung out for a bit. He talked about sewing and knitting and I pretended to listen as I was visualizing “sewing and knitting” him with my hands and my tongue. But I kept telling myself that I don’t want to get involved with unavailable men. Nothing happened and I went home. As soon as I got home, I received a text from him.
I realized my hormones were highly activated after the spin class so I had to properly cool down from the intense work-out (and Baylor’s text messages). I clarified with Baylor about his relationship status which he and his boyfriend have an open relationship.
Even though sewing and kitting a cute boy once in a while can be fun, I want the whole outfit and the wardrobe. I am looking for the whole package of relationship which can include going to the gym together then having another sweaty work-out in bed afterwards.
One night about 7 months ago, I was swiping impulsively on Tinder, hoping to hear a “brrrring” sound when a match happens.
After about 20 swipes, I matched with Landon. He is 30 years old, white guy who is a chemistry professor. Read about Aaron on Sexual Chemistry another chemistry professor I went out with long time ago.
Landon and I went to dinner one night and when I saw him in person, I noticed he is so much shorter than I had imagined. We went to a tapas restaurant and had the usual first date dialogue. Where are you from? how many siblings do you have? Where did you go to school? Where have you traveled to? We conversed in ways that seemed rehearsed as we were on a job interview. Typically if I like someone I have many questions about them, but I found myself not paying attention to him. Unless first date was absolutely horrible, I usually give everyone a second date to get to know them better.
This is my last year of 30’s. Some dread the 40’s. Honestly, I remember calling guys in 40s old when I was in my 20’s. But, now I think 40 is the new 30. I am super excited about graduating from 30s. However, I can tell my body is slowing changing. Wrinkles and gray hairs seem to appear every month and I seem to move the phone or book close and far back & forth to focus. I also think my taste of guys have evolved and more attracted to younger guys.
About two years ago when I went to a gay club, which is mostly college age boys. I was dancing with this cute Asian guy who was bumping and grinding dangerously on me, I spilled half of my drink. As I was trying to escape from his dangerous movement, Caleb, a cute twink white boy came up between me and the Asian guy. Then the Asian guy abruptly took off. I believe they were friends. Well, one thing led to another and Caleb and I were bumping, grinding and kissing.
Instead of writing a story, the following screen shot text messages will tell you the story about Nick. Apparently he saw me at a bar and found me on okcupid. After messaging each other, we exchanged phone numbers then following text messages happened over the course of several months but we never went out on a date.