the coupon queen

I met Colin about 6 years ago on match.com. Colin is Italian, almost 10 years older than me, super tall, stocky build, with salt & pepper hair, goatee, blue eyes, big nose, and a cute smile. 

For our first date, we went to the movies, which he had tickets he had purchased as  discount tickets through his work. After the movie, he took me to Pizzeria Uno’s. We shared an app and a pie of pizza while discussing the movie. When the server brought the bill, he insisted that he pays. He pulls out a piece of paper, which was a Groupon deal for a free appetizer when you get a pizza pie. We also went out to get some ice cream, which he had a coupon for also.

 Yes, cost-of-living is definitely sky high and we all need to pinch-a-penny. I myself love couponing and there is nothing more gratifying to see the amount I saved on the CVS receipt. I just found it somewhat silly that Colin only did things for our dates based on savings. (BTW, see post from 05.10.2015 about coupon for a blow job)

Regardless, I really liked him and we spent a lot of time together. He was really good in bed too and a good snuggler. We dated for several months and he asked for me to move in with him. At the time, I was not ready for a serious relationship and I was seeing two other guys at the same time. I broke up with him to explain that it would not be fair for me to date him if he was looking for something I was not ready for.  Besides, I don’t know if I have all that patience to clip coupons from Sunday papers to go grocery shopping. 

red hair + bad red wine = bad date

About 7 years ago, I met Luke on match.com, a Jewish doctor. He is same age as me, about my height and weight, and has red hair. (Did I ever mention that I am a huge ginger fan?)

For our first date, Luke made me the most romantic candlelight dinner at this place. As much as I enjoy drinking red wine, I have very little knowledge in different types of wine, what vineyards they come from, and what oaky, fruity, smoky, or dry tastes are like. I bought a bottle of red I picked from the liquor store because it had a cute label on it.

When I opened it, the cork crumbled into piece into the bottle (THE WORST!!) and it tasted like vinegar. Luckily he had another bottle. The dinner conversation was going great. We talked about wine of course, work, family, where we grew up, and other random topics relates to gay men.

We had sex afterwards. To be honest, I am probably not the most active participant during sex. I guess one would call me a lazy top. I personally enjoyed with Luke, but I wasn’t sure if he felt the same. I wish there is a swipe right or left to rate sexual performance. Can someone create an app for this?

Instead, Luke sent me an e-mail which reads….“I think you’re a nice guy, but I am not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. Sorry.”

I wanted to ask if it was because the sex was bad? Instead I replied: “Is it because the wine I brought was bad?”

He replied “yes, it was because of the wine. j/k”

Few years later, my new roommate at the time had a birthday party at a restaurant. And just take a wild guess who is close friend of my new roommate? Luke, the red head, who was sat next to me, drinking red wine. I see him on the street all the time and we also go to the same gym. My roommate told me he has a boyfriend now.

I should have brought vodka to the dinner date instead. Or I just have to be wilder during sex.

Just say no

About 10 years ago, I met Shawn at a bar. He was 5 years younger than me, cute, curly blond hair, beautiful blue eyes, and an animated smile. He was a dancer and had a tight small physique.

      

He smoked like a chimney and carried around a cigarette case like it was a wallet. I found myself very attracted to him and we spent a lot of time together for several months. But we lost touch suddenly.

Almost a year later, I got a call from him and he wanted to come over to my place. He didn’t sound well on the phone. When he showed up at my door, he looked pale, mouth so dried it almost looked foamy, and his eyes were not the beautiful eyes I remembered. He tearfully confessed about his drug problems. He was jobless and homeless, so he had been living in his car. I didn’t expect this to happen to Shawn at all and I was so sad for him.

Substance use is very common in queer culture. When I was in college, I partied every weekend and it became very unhealthy for me. I realized it was too much when I fainted and fell on the floor at a party. It was probably the most frightening experience and changed my view on drug use.

Shawn talked and I listened without judgment. He told me about his plans to move away. He lived in Japan in the past and now he wanted to go to South Korea. I visited him in South Korea about 6 months later and he was doing really well. He managed turn his life around through courage and that inspired me. He seemed like he was back to himself, cute, curly blond hair, beautiful blond eyes, and animated smile. We hooked up and he definitely had a tight small physique being a dancer.

It took me almost 2 years and traveling on the other side of the globe to have sex with him. It was definitely worth it. Shawn is probably one of few guys I have strong feelings for and I care about him a lot.

Shawn moved back to America about 5 years ago and he is now married to his boyfriend of 5 years.

(also see post from 04.12.2015 about my view on drugs)

mom > BF

About two years ago, I met a guy name Sam, who is a neighbor of my friend and his friend was my next door neighbor. He is few years older than me, white, tall, slightly thinning hair, green eyes, and sexy dimples. He also has a witty sense of humor, which I find it very attractive.

Sam asked me out on a date and reserved a table at a restaurant at 7:30 pm. I got to the restaurant right on time, but he wasn’t there yet. I waited at the bar for15 minutes and called him to see if he was close. He didn’t answer so I left a message. My vulnerability got worse by the minute. Thirty minutes and two glasses of wine passed, I was sitting alone at the bar and thought ‘shit, did I just get stood up?’ I sent him a text message and went home. Then this happened:

I hate having conversations like these over text messages so I called him the next day. He explained that he had not slept all week from worries of his mom who had a life threatening illness. If we were in a relationship, this would probably be the time I provide emotional comfort to him as a boyfriend. Suddenly, disappointment turned into empathy. I am sure his mom was a priority over a date with me. Sam apologized and in return, he joked that I have unlimited coupons to redeem anything I wanted. I gave him a list: trips to Paris and Japan, a new car, peanut butter, and a blow job.

The following weekend, Sam took me out to dinner every night. I didn’t get to redeem any of the coupons but I did get a kiss, which was amazing. About a month later, his mother passed away and he told me that he was not in a good place to date.

I ran into him at a gay bar about a month ago on a date. It was the same night I ran into Bryan (see On My Own from 04.05.2015).

Are you gonna get lucky tonight?

I used to get scared when a stranger flirts with me, particularly if it’s blunt.

I used to go to a particular grocery store regularly and the deli guy always helped me with half pound of honey glazed turkey. Every time I saw him, he always had a bright smile which I assumed was customer service strategy. But one day, it was exceptional smile when he kept staring me throughout the store. First I thought it was creepy, but he seemed harmless. When I got to the counter, he told me he liked my tennis shoes. He was a wrestler and had the “dumb jock” look. He then guessed my ethnicity and started to talk to me in my ethnic language. He gave me his number and told me that he would allow me to handle his meat. I never called him.

Another time, I was on my way to a gay bar and took a cab. I got in the cab and the driver asked where I was going. He looked like he was in his 50’s with gray hair, heavy build, and sounded like an Italian.

After learning that I was going to a gay bar, he asked if I was to get lucky tonight. He asked with a creepy smirky facial expression, raising his one eye brow through the rearview mirror.

“Lucky? I….. I don’t know. I don’t plan…. to get lucky. Luck happens at the right time at a right place.”

“Well you’re going to get lucky tonight.” As the cab arrived at the destination. “you call me when you leave and I will give you a ride home. I will give a REAL ride.”

I could not decide if I was turned on or disgusted. I stormed out of the cab and I didn’t get lucky that night.